Sugitaru wa nao oyobazaru ga gotoshi
by Ravenous Silentside
Summary: *FINAL PART UP* |RavenxVan pairing| There love was put to the test for one last time. Friends or Foe? ^_^ pls. R & R!
1. Coincidental Opposition

Disclaimer: yeah, yeah I don't own zoids. I borrow it for disclaimer purposes, and everyone does. No flames, constructive criticism are entertained (and remind me those in 'small' caps).  
  
Note: Van x Raven pairing! What could be better ^_^? It's just their chemistry that compels me to write this fic. I'm a rabid Raven fan, sending signals to my yaoi-mind...browsing about, going to fan sites, were I also learned to like the schubaltz pairing, made a ficcie about the two bros., and this time. Its van x raven time! Please read and comment!  
  
Coincidental Oppositions: Sugitaru wa nao oyobazaru ga gotoshi  
  
(Coincidental Oppositions: Let what is past flow away downstream)  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
"mrff..."  
  
Mumbled the brunette against a big fluffy white pillow. Van Flyheight feels like his eyelids were tied down with heavy weights that he can't bare to open them more than a fraction. Feeling a bile rise up from his stomach, he shut his eyes tightly again. 'God, It's been a hell of a night', and he won't be surprised why a slight motion caused him nearly to throw up. After one of those battles, a point they are just few more steps to victory to regain the peace once again in zi---the gang and almost everyone threw one of those 'victory' celebration thing. It's one of those events that they will relish, making a moment to remember everyone around them, for who knows what will happen next time.  
  
And memorable it did, if his liquor-laced memory serves him right, Van last remembered that he is hanging along with Irvine, Thomas and just with the guys at the point they are out doing each other to a bet who will be the last one standing finishing several bottles of beer. Dr. D is definitely too old to join them, and preferred his usual coffee with a wisp of salt (yes, salt---I do heard it right in the series) and Thomas' older brother Karl is too modest to take the challenge. First it was narrowed to four, when his Majesty Rudolf presses that he can at least join what his friends are doing...not caring that he is still a minor, and threw up, then collapsed after only taking his first sip. It was then left to three, and after around 3 bottles, it was Thomas' turn, who after reluctantly pressing he is not drunk, embarrassed himself when on suddenly seeing miss Fiona passed by, peed his own pants ^^. Now there were two, he and Irvine contested not only to finish the remaining beer supply there, but the first want to stand up, pee or throw up will be consider the loser, and Irvine staked a bet on it using Zeke. He always had plans to snatch away Van's organoid, and the youth can't believe him that he still had that plan all this years.  
  
No way would Van let himself lose to his comrade, and as he recalled hazily, everything became increasingly disoriented, as if their surroundings are but moving amalgam of colors and hush of cheery urging voices as he took and downed one bottle after the other. He can feel the damnable urge to throw up when he holds on his 10th drink,  
  
"Ready to give up, Van?" he recalled the mocking voice coming from Irvine, who seems to take a lead and appears very placid and calm, than the shit drunk wreck that he was. But Irvine's voice is starting to slur and his face is tickled pink. "No, I'm not! You are already drunk; I'm going to win this thing!"  
  
*****  
  
Win this thing...  
  
That was the last solid memory he had of last night. Too bad he didn't recall going to his room and falling down the bed, maybe he did fainted of drunkenness after all. The pain in his head, his body very heavy and aching from hair to toe, it does not matter now who won the silly contest. He is now in total wreck and it would be days for him to get out of this hellacious hangover.  
  
As if not to make his aching head worse, his clock sets off to the morning alarm. He knocked it off, irritably. "Darn it, just give me so sleep!" he moaned, flickering his onyx-colored eyes open. He finally adjusted his vision to the light and lazily tries to clamper one arm to reach for the fallen alarm clock from the floor.  
  
"What the fu...?"  
  
Van realized from his covers that he was naked, and peeked through inside his heavy layers of blankets, he is STARK naked! He brought one hand to his neck that seemed to be stinging a bit right now. It warm...and a bit wet, he is starting to feel some strange marks, as if someone...no something, has been biting him heavily. Van stirred and tries to sit up, only to feel that his lower back and especially his behind in a strange heavy lancing pain.  
  
"What now?" he whined, trying to figure out what is going on. But he does not have to, as his voice has caused something to move within under his covers. Someone is sleeping beside him, in his own private bed? No wonder! He might have gotten those back cramps for to whoever freeloader is trying to snuggle and share his place. But he still can't figure why he is so naked, "Out Zeke, scram! I'm trying to get some sleep!" Van presumed, calling out his metal organoid. But the cloaked sleeping figure just shook and turned away, hogging most of the covers for himself.  
  
"Hey, did you hear me? Buzz off!" Van shooked the clothed figure, and was surprised to feel that the figure is soft and warm. He gasped at the sight of the familiar dirty ashen brown hair.  
  
"Damn it Flyheight, give me some sleep will you?" he groaned, "I had it all night, so shut up and go back to sleep." Irvine stirred and tossed from side to side, not minding the gaping boy. It took quick glances and some falling bed sheets for Van to notice that Irvine is with him.  
  
In bed.  
  
Together  
  
And also in his birthday suit :)  
  
'Shit!' when moment of realization set in for the dark haired boy, 'I guess we both got drunk last night' he thought. Usually for two very drunk people something will eventually happen...god; he didn't want to recall what it is!  
  
His voice trembled, "Hey, Irvine?"  
  
"What?" the older man replied irritably. "If you're asking who won last night, I can't remember either. We'll just ask someone else later. I need my sleep, do you mind?"  
  
"BUT you are sleeping in my bed!" Van protested, it's a single bed only ONE person could sleep in.  
  
"So?" Irvine snapped back, finally opening his set of gray eyes and turning around Van's direction, leaning over his elbow. The older comrade noticed that Van is somehow getting redder every minute as if he is getting embarrassed or upset on something. "You drag me here last night, don't you remember?"  
  
"I don't!"  
  
"You keep on begging, 'please don't leave me alone, and stay with me'" Irvine said, imitating a pleading voice. "You are so noisy and protesting that I have to put up with you."  
  
"Did...did anything happened, last night?"  
  
"Yeah, Thomas was so embarrassed having wet his pants at the contest that he locked himself in the kitchen for the whole night. Took even his older brother to convince him to go out there and gave him a new pair. "  
  
"No, not that! Y-you know what I mean." the younger boy said softly, unable to meet his gray gaze. "I mean Irvine, you are naked now and I am naked...so..."  
  
"Last night? Well it's great, something definitely happened and it's the best that ever did in my whole life!"  
  
Van didn't expect a sudden cheerful disposition coming from Irvine, and he nearly face-vaulted. He shamefully tried to glance up at him but instead of a sarcastic expression, Irvine is grinning ear to ear.  
  
"Have you gone mental?" the younger boy whined, "what have gotten into you?"  
  
He felt his cheeks flush once again when the older boy snug to him even closer and his blood turn to ice as Irvine stroked a finger playfully from his chest to down to his well-toned stomach muscles, "You are the one who have gotten into me, sugar bear."  
  
"I'll get you for this, IRVINE!!"  
  
With his face flushed, he stood up, grabbed some of the blankets and ran down the bathroom as fast as he could, turning the shower on so loud and locking all the bolts of the door. Irvine lay down on his back, both arms at the back at his head, when a sardonic smile crept up to his face and then he softly chuckled at the thought of hearing the youth's muttering and cursing amid the noisy shower spray.  
  
*****  
  
Later in the afternoon  
  
"Irvine?"  
  
Irvine looked up from the pack of ice from his head. 'Stupid hangover,' he cursed to himself, his every slight move is giving him nothing but nausea and pain. Fiona was looking to him with a hint of worry and concern, and she wasn't with the others, where she usually is with Moonbay or Mr.D in fixing and upgrading some parts of other zoids. It's definitely two things why she's here, looking for Zeke or Van...preferably, both of the two.  
  
"Have you seen Zeke?"  
  
"He may be with Van," Irvine mumbled, with a tone in his voice hinting he wants to be left alone. "And if he is with Van, they are definitely around somewhere. And if they are around somewhere you can see them if you look around."  
  
"Vicious hangover isn't it?" Fiona noticed, then smiling to him sweetly. "That's what you get when you're trying to beat Van."  
  
"No way, he won? I can't remember much about that part."  
  
Fiona nodded. "Well, I think both of you can't remember much either. But everyone did,"  
  
Irvine scratched his head and recalled in memory, "Poor Van."  
  
"What do you mean, poor Van?"  
  
Irvine momentarily forgets his pounding head, and told in jest about what happened that morning. Van didn't recall anything from last night and he played a joke on him. The truth is, Van is so drunk that Irvine had to assist him to his room, but it's not all that easy as the young pilot strayed and ran, stumbled, tripped like a walking catastrophe until he got him and Irvine spilled over by some open drums of anti-freeze as they went to the storage area by mistake. He can barely stand up that Zeke pitifully had to bite and drag him by the neck to get him standing up against the slippery fluid, to where he had fallen flat butt first. Since they were a total mess, but too much in stupor to change, Irvine and Van just stripped down to nothing and collapsed exhausted right to the bed. When Irvine caught the sight of a now sober Van up and very suspicious that morning, he played about the notion that 'something happened' indeed.  
  
Fiona can't help but giggle as Irvine also described how Van, utterly embarrassed and confused ran panicking to the bathroom. "Oh you are so sick, Irvine! Van cannot face us for a month if he does believe THAT really happened!"  
  
"Nah, he might get the joke eventually. There are a lot of witness when he slipped down at the storage room if I recall." he exclaimed, the two were laughing light-heartedly together. In a few minutes, their conversation was interrupted by a heavy metallic runt and heavy swishing steps.  
  
"Oh Zeke, there you are!" Fiona exclaimed, "Have you seen Van?"  
  
Zeke made some more grunting noises and other movements, "...is he in trouble?"  
  
Zeke shook his head, and is trying to point in a certain direction. It's hard sometimes to communicate with humans, and with a shrug Zeke turned around and ran, as if to lead them on what he is trying to say. The two followed him, wondering what is going on. The metal organoid lead them to Van's room, which when Irvine opened, is in state of total mess. A mess that he figured look like someone have ran away.  
  
"Don't tell me he did take it seriously!"  
  
*****  
  
"Red or white, sir?"  
  
"Yes," Van answered absentmindedly, only to receive a quizzical look.  
  
"Just give him both, it seems our boy here had a hard day." followed a voice from behind, the tone cold and mocking. The waiter uneasily glanced over who ever spoke and nodded tersely then gave Van two glasses and left. Looking at the table behind him, Van saw the familiar gray hair and cold penetrating indigo eyes. "What brings you here, Van Flyheight?"  
  
"Raven!" he hissed lowly, watching the other youth sitting at the other table at the back, with a wicker candle in the table highlighting the pallid facial features. "What brings YOU here?"  
  
Raven assessed the furious tone coming from his rival, "None of your business?" he replied, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Fine, then don't ask me then!" and the brunette turned away, minding his business at his own table. There was then a long uneasy silence afterwards, as the cruising ship crossed the calm night sea. Van cursed himself from escaping an awkward situation only to wind up with another one. He packed all his things, unmindfully leaving everyone and zeke, only to find himself riding a ship to some town, and the only slots available was in the first class deck. Luckily, he brought himself enough cash for the whole trip. He was hoping not to meet a familiar face on-board.  
  
Then Raven shows up, sitting just the next table behind him, alone, at the whole dimly lit dinning room. He figured that he is also riding first class. But then again, he prefers squaring with his rival anytime and die doing it rather than face Irvine and the gang right now. He recalled with a shudder the pleasurable smile in Irvine's face when he said 'You are the one who have gotten into me, sugar bear'. Sugar bear! He had called him sugar bear! He stroked him gently at the chest down to his stomach and cooing the words 'sugar bear'! God does his head hurts as the words echoed into his head, he could crawl now into a hole and die.  
  
"All alone, Flyheight?"  
  
"Why Raven?" he snorted, very much annoyed right now. The word sugar bear still embarrassingly echoing in his brain. "Reminding me that you're going to blast this place anytime soon?"  
  
"I presume you are all alone then," the gray-haired youth replied dryly. And to Van's surprise, he moved away from his table to sit next in front of him. "Mind if I sit down?"  
  
"You are already sitting down."  
  
Raven grinned and shook his head, taking the glass with red wine, sipped the fluid lightly. "I'm very surprised to see you on board this ship, without your friends."  
  
"It wasn't just like you either without destroying everything else." he snapped back, eyeing the pale youth seriously, waiting for him to react. It was so rather unusual, that Raven does not appear to look at him in a hostile manner like he always did way in the battlefield. It seems what he only wants is to have a conversation. What could have this one eaten? Was it full-moon?  
  
"It's absolutely a bloody bore with no one you know around to talk to," he spoke, as if to answer Van's questioning glare. "Apparently, we have known each other for a long time in the battle field, so why not share a little talk?"  
  
"What would you like to talk about?"  
  
"Anything for now that does not involve the battlefield." he said rather exhaustedly, "or at least those two for any matter."  
  
'That two' happens to be Hiltz and Reys. Raven mumbled in an effect how disgusted he was with the blue-haired zoidan having a severe crush on him. Spouting personal details on his life somehow made Van eased up a bit, although the words that came out happens to be more from his mouth than from his head.  
  
"It couldn't be worse than being called a sugar bear." he nearly said out loud, and Raven nearly choked a mouthful of his red wine. He gave Van a surprised look and tries to suppress an urge to laugh. The sky is falling indeed, Van never seen Raven laugh aside from the last time the genosaurer evolved to a genobreaker, or at least when he is taking military bases down for that matter. "Sugar bear?!" he said in between snickering. "Who will call you sugar bear?!" and took another glassful of his red wine.  
  
Van gave himself a mental kick on the butt, and downed his own glass of white wine to drown his embarrassment, "Irvine." he replied honestly.  
  
"Why would Irvine call you sugar bear?" Raven laughed, and signaled a waiter to give him another glass of red wine. "The last thing in the world would be me calling you by that sissy name!!"  
  
"It's none of your concern, Raven. It's personal!" he hissed, his face slowly turning red. What would he tell? That he got drunk and ended up getting screwed on by Irvine? Good, then definitely Raven WOULD have something to taunt him about if they both get back to our business in few days time. Just imagine if the word reach Hiltz, Reys....next thing you know, it would be spoken in the com links of their zoids in battle and everyone would hear it...ahh, the thought is so much! Speaking of total humiliation!  
  
"Sugar bear!" Raven said, taunting him.  
  
"Stop it!" Van mumbled in a low whisper, "Everyone would hear you!"  
  
"Sugar bear!"  
  
That will be at least the effect of two glasses of wine in an empty stomach, Van presumed. He didn't know that Raven would act so wholesome and perky with fogged senses. Strange, but he preferred to enjoy his company that way. "Stop that! I'm serious!"  
  
"Okay then" he said, finally calming down, but a silly smile is still drawn on his pale face. "He had no right to call you sugar bear all right."  
  
"It's good that you know."  
  
"I as your rival can only be the one to call you by that name."  
  
"Raven!" Van nearly shouted to the other boy, but he is surprised to find him with a small wicked smile playing on his lips. Same smile he recalled Irvine had when he snuggled next to him. With that situation embedded in his memory, he quickly signaled the waiter that he will pay his chit and leave so he can go now and sleeps into the comfort of his room.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but someone already paid for the drinks."  
  
"Who did?" he looked back at Raven, who seems to be content in seeing his surprised reaction. This is definitely going down to be very weird. He just nodded tersely and stood up, muttering his thanks.  
  
"Nice seeing you then, Raven..."  
  
"Yeah, definitely."  
  
-c o n t i n u e d-  
  
Author: yay! Yes.something is strange, nothing have happened! That will be just MORE about for the next chapter *sprouts devilish horns* Please make a review! Ja! ^_^ -Turn review stats on- 


	2. Flames of Passion

Note: I do agree with the readers that my grammar sucks *bangs head* and that it dampen the story's content _; I don't have anytime to beta-read it, so I'll just had it beta-read for the next parts to come. *points at email* By the way, this chapter STILL does not contain the much awaited lemon part, wah so gomen (_ _) I had to mount the suspense of the story (so we will know how the heck they'll end up doing it) the next upcoming chapter would be devoted to it, I promise! Mwahahaha!  
  
X'ss: Please bear with me and with the 'sugar bear' joke ^-^ I can't help myself! I would have made it to a title but it's too ridiculous for an R rating -_- and besides---there will be much worse than sugar bear in later parts :}  
  
Sugar bear!  
  
-RaVen0us  
  
Part two: Flames of Passion  
  
*****  
  
With the depth of a bottomless pit I sink into your eyes. Through that window I enter a void, Where I wish to be Breeze-like kisses on your soft face My lips secretly wish.  
  
*****  
  
His indigo eyes fluttered in a half-closed manner as he rests lazily on his back, wondering those last words he said back at the dining room. 'The last thing in the world would be me calling you by that sissy name!!'  
  
That's definitely like him.  
  
'Raven!' he recalled the words dripping with venom, 'what brings you here?'  
  
'None of your business' he retorted icily,  
  
And the rest that he had said the whole evening must be a big fat joke. Raven frowned lightly, and shut his eyes closed. 'Come to think of it, I DID ask Flyheight first. And I'll say none of my business? Geez.' He didn't know what compelled him to talk to Van when he can't even stand the sight of him. He was affirmative that he wasn't being mind-tricked at that time. He just suddenly talked.  
  
"What am I thinking?" he grumbled. It was at that time he realized that his reason and instinct took a sudden course of its own. He is the one who insisted to join Van at the table, he is the one who insisted for a small talk, it was he who he insisted that they are going to talk just like a pair of mature young-adults and anything to do with the battle is ABSOLUTELY off the topic. It was even he who foots the bill.  
  
'I can't believe I even paid for the bill,' he muttered to himself again. Then with a voice that sounded more like an intense longing than harsh despite, Raven cursed "Damn it! Why wouldn't he just get out of my head! " Well for one, he was insanely obsessed all these years to finish him in battle. The memory of his own defeat few years back in the war burned deeply to his brain that soon enough he made his comeback intensely personal. Before, he wants to defeat Van because he is hindering his mission objective, Now, HE is his mission objective. Eliminate him at all cost; there had been a lot of encounters and a lot more of the battles that followed. He was not satisfied, and he wants more.  
  
More than the rivalry, more than emerging the best there is. More than having Van defeated by his own scarred hands.  
  
It is not the cold black rage that fills the depth of his soul, fuelling his obsession. It was a strong surge of emotion he was sure that was alien to him before. Definitely something else. But what is it?  
  
"Whatever it is, it couldn't be worse than being called a sugar bear." He said, rephrasing the words that the other pilot told him before. It sounded so ridiculous and corny now that he thought about it, that Raven fell down from his bunk, hitting the floor carpet head first. Instead of muttering and cursing about his own foolishness, he finds himself in such irony, laughing. Not the cold mocking laugh, but a different refreshing whole- hearted one, out of pure jest. Since Raven is not used to such warm emotions, it took him several minutes to stop. It gave him stomach cramps, a head ache and a lot salty tears streaming down his eyes. But it's worth it, for he never had such light and ecstatic release in his whole life. He never felt any better.  
  
"Hey, keep it down there will ya?" Came an irritated voice from another room, sending him back to reality. It was followed by a low, and concerned runt soon after, at the darker portion of his room.  
  
"Me, Drunk? I guess so, shadow. But I never had any thing like this before." He said to his black organoid, who was partially hidden somewhere by the dark corner. There came a couple of thuds and kicks' coming from his direction and it was followed by another gruff. "Yes, I'll let you out the first thing when we get out of this ship." Raven still drift around with his organoid, but he can't travel in peace if he let the thing roam around freely in open air---so he shipped shadow in a crate box, and was sent to his room as 'fragile luggage'. It took some hefty sum and some intimidating threat to convince lifters not to inspect the excess baggage.  
  
Pondering all the strange happenings in one night only made Raven dizzy. Shadow was right; he had one drink to many that he is acting a bit out of his usual self. He finally shut his eyes and decides to get some sleep, hoping all these will probably drift away like some strange dream.  
  
*****  
  
It is already 2 am,  
  
And Van cannot sleep, he felt like he was in the North Pole. The crew informed everyone later that evening that something went wrong with the ventilation unit, making most of the rooms from the first class deck and economy rise into cold temperature. 'It's not only the ventilation that was affected' he cursed under the chilly air, as he placed another layer of clothes to keep him warm. '---even the friggin electricity is out!' He had bumped his head, knees and elbows a couple of times before he managed to light up two of the room's spare gas lamps. Now with an aching and freezing body, he has to kick and move within the covers just to keep himself warm. It still does not work, instead he felt he had to stand again for the umpteenth time to go and pee in the bathroom.  
  
"What? I got it locked?" he groaned, this isn't just his day. Maybe he could bother someone to let him use their bathroom. After all, who could sleep at this darn condition? Frisking out his keys, he left and went down the corridor hall.  
  
*****  
  
"I can't sleep."  
  
"Mrmvfng?"  
  
"It's so friggin hot in here, Shadow."  
  
"Mrmnvng?!?" what sounds like an objective metallic runt irritated Raven; he threw an accessory over the crate box. "God, why do I even bother asking you? You can't even feel anything!" he spat, rising up from his covers, nearly naked. (Yes, nearly naked ( - author). He had heard the crew right; every room is down to icy cold because of the ventilation problem: he can even see small misty fogs rolling out from his unit right now. "They're wrong, its so goddamn hot here as hell."  
  
Honestly, the crew is actually right. He hates to say it, but the room was indeed cold. It must have been him all the time. It must have been him all the time feeling so hot, and that means more than literally.  
  
"Fuck," It's the only word that he managed to say about his awkward situation, throwing himself back to the covers. "All I want is to sleep!"  
  
Raven thought with the effect of two drinks he could easily drown his thoughts and go to la la land. But he wasn't, and instead the image of Van Flyheight was swimming in his head, as if it was a life review. The encounters with the pilot who has been his foe and greatest rival and for four years back to the present, was shown dramatically in his dreams as he stirred about restlessly. Thinking it was only his clothes making him feel uncomfortable, he stripped down nothing to only a pair of white boxers. But still unsatisfied, he threw off all his blankets to the floor. Trying to sleep with only big pillows, Raven plunged his head deep within the soft mattress, but the images pressed on and on. He felt a hot surge of flame down his lower body and later he turned around find himself experiencing something a bit too late, strange and TOO embarrassing for his age--- a wet hard on.  
  
"That does it! I'm getting myself a cold shower!!" he spat furiously, quickly standing up and grabbing a robe by the dresser. 'This so ridiculous, I'm having wet dreams of Van Flyheight now?' why should he? Maybe he shouldn't have bothered talking with the prick at the first place when they met few hours ago. But then---why did he talk with him? A good nice friendly-not-so-like-him talk? It's because he is drawn to Van differently than it was before?  
  
"No," he muttered, then cursing silently for the sudden involuntary flush coming from his cheeks. He tries turning the shower on, but the water came out weak. "Stupid so called-first class service." He tried to absentmindedly distract himself and turns down the water at the tub. Sitting down the neatly fur-covered toilet seat, he watched as the water starts to fill in. 'This damn tub will take forever'. He cursed again, and impatiently strode out of the bathroom. "Shadow, I'm going out for a walk. Don't do anything stupid."  
  
Shadow grunted as if to complain, since what trouble can he do in a crate box anyway?  
  
*****  
  
Raven grabs a lamp and went out to the bleak long corridors of the first class deck. He could get himself some fresh air while he waits, trying to force strange thoughts away. He could see that he is not alone, someone else is outside. The person is wrapped in a sweater, obviously trying to get his hands warm and trying to figure his way around. That person might even face vault upon seeing the sight of him wearing nothing but a robe.  
  
"Why can't I get you out of my head, Flyheight?! What is it about you?" He complained out loud. How can he talk to the person if he felt nothing but cold fury? Fury is the one that fuels his desire to defeat him in battle. Fury---  
  
Fury is passion pent up for too long and it's deadly in strong intensity. Passion is the fury of love in its finest hour. Was it this new sensation he is starting to feel along---passion? Or is it---  
  
"AND, who the hell are you?!" the moving figure in the corridors turned around, that voice, Raven realized, came from no one else's but Van. He can't reply back, and that irritated him more.  
  
Lifting up his own lamp, the figure cautiously moved to his direction. "Look, I don't know if we ever met but whatever you w---"  
  
The yellowish pale light illuminated the gray hair and the annoyed sharp indigo eyes. "RAVEN?"  
  
Raven was right, and Van face vaulted at the sight of him. "It's so damn cold! What are you doing only wearing THOSE?"  
  
He pulled the robe more tightly and crossed his arms around his chest, "That is none of your concern."  
  
"So why on Zi did you call my name?"  
  
"Call you? I didn't recall calling you." He whipped back a glance to the brunette coldly, "The hell do I know that you are the one walking around there. I'm just thinking."  
  
"Cut the crap, Raven! I know you want to say something to me, so spit it out!" the tanned boy said angrily. The taller pilot somehow made Van shut up by just saying nothing, he just stared at him.  
  
Raven's gaze seems to hold Van for a reason. 'His eyes, they are different' Van thought, they were looking at him in such an assessing manner as if he wants to explore the depths of his soul. Van's body responded to his scrutiny with an almost sensual shudder. He was furious.  
  
'The conceited prig! Who in the world did he think he was to subject him to such deliberate insult?'  
  
When he spoke, his voice was softer than he expected. "Ventilation problem too, ne?"  
  
"Yes!" Van's word came out more defiant than intended, "So what do you want with me now?!"  
  
Raven looked down at Van, as if he noticed something else with the youth. Then he looked up at him, a sly smile curved his lips.  
  
"The public cubicle area would be just around the corner, just go to straight ahead and turn left. You wouldn't miss it."  
  
He gave him a surprised look,  
  
"Don't thank me." He said, signaling him to go away. "Just go."  
  
****  
  
'I don't have to thank him, I didn't even ask!' Van said, as he finally has taken a leak(. But without Raven, his gall bladder must have well turned into stone right now, he owe that to him, at least. He luminate his path as he cautiously go back to the corridors, and along the way saw some unattended food carts. Some are carrying liquor, and he took some. If he drinks enough of these things, he can warm up much faster.  
  
"CRASH!!"  
  
Suddenly, he ran across someone else, sending his lamp crashing down the floor and the liquor bottles broke into pieces, spilling the alcohol and staining the carpet with a strong pungent smell everywhere. The other person he knocked down is also not so lucky, having lost its only lamp. They both have to scamper in the dark.  
  
"Whiskey? It figures. Don't walk out the hall with it." Ringed the sarcastic voice, "If you do, accidents like these happen! So would you mind?!"  
  
"I'm not drunk damnit! You are the one who is not looking around!!"  
  
"----Van?"  
  
"Raven?!"  
  
How many much in one day will he keep running across this jerk?  
  
The two didn't have time to argue as the room security starts to approach near. "Humph. Looks like we are both in trouble, now."  
  
"We don't have to argue!" Van frowned lightly, "Let's just go back to our rooms, shall we?"  
  
They tried to run down the corridors but ended up tripping again to each other. 'It's so damn dark'! Raven said to himself,  
  
"Van,"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can't you see anything?"  
  
"No!"  
  
He sighed wearily, his tone reluctant. His first instinct is to knock the annoying jerks that are possibly in the corridors, but the second is to just let them look stupid. "Well then hold on me then," he grabbed the other youth's arm, wounding it both to his waist. "Just follow me,"  
  
Van mumbled something incoherent and uneasily took hold both on Raven's waist, if they definitely want both of them to sneak back to their rooms fast without doing any accident (again) they had to rely on each other quick. They leaned to the walls and crawled-half squatting low to the floor hastily, with Raven splaying his hands on them, trying to figure every nook and cranny of a knob or a door.  
  
"Is anyone out there?"  
  
"Shit, Raven! Can't you move any faster?" Van cursed in a low voice.  
  
"I won't if you are not slowing me down."  
  
"ME?" His voice rose higher than a whisper, "You're the one who pulled me to lead us here!"  
  
"----------------------"  
  
"Hey? There is a lot of mess in here!!" the security exclaimed, "Someone's messing around outside!"  
  
Raven is getting more and more frustrated, the corridors seem pathetically endless. 'I'll just find a damn empty room and get on it.' He said to himself, 'sides, it will be just for several minutes.' He felt success as his hands get hold of a small unlocked room, and quickly pulled Van inside once he made access. Raven sneaked neatly and quickly, while Van tumbled in with an 'oof' sound into the room. They were even luckier when they find the place totally unoccupied, meaning there is absolutely nothing there except the basic furniture.  
  
He lighted the lamps in the room and then came a wincing sound from Van, "What now?" he said,  
  
"None that you wouldn't mind," Van replied tartly, "I just get cuts from the bottles that had smashed through the floor."  
  
"You're such a wuss fussing over small scratches."  
  
"No one asked you."  
  
"Yeah, sugar bear."  
  
Van almost spat back, but he saw that Raven intended the teasing well naturedly, so he shut his trap. He is already blushing red as a tomato. "Don't remind me of that!" he mumbled, giving him with a furious dark glare.  
  
Raven licked his lips absentmindedly, he somehow felt turned on just seeing his arch rival flush like that--- 'Damn---' and approached the kneeling figure by the floor.  
  
"Let me take a look of it," he mumbled not knowing what possessed him, kneeling down over and inspecting Van's hands closely before the other boy could protest. There in his hands lay deep bleeding scratches done by the broken glasses and shards---which remind him of his scarred own. "They would leave scars, you know that?"  
  
"I won't mind mine unlike you, Raven." The dark haired youth retorted, trying to pull his hands back. But surprisingly, Raven still holds them tightly. His face is dangerously close to Van's hands in just matter of centimeters.  
  
"It's not fair, Flyheight---" he muttered almost hoarsely, that it made the other boy shudder. "Only I could give you such scars---" and to what Van watched in through shock, he saw that there is a languorous gaze in Raven's eyes and he proceeds to kiss-no, to lick his hand injuries. His tongue deliberately sponging his injured palms; washing the blood that had already seeped and crusted in his wounds. There escape a soft moan to Raven's mouth, as he nibbled one of his fingers gently.  
  
It took a few minutes for Van to recover from the shock, and knowing what is happening, hastily drew off his hands from the other boy. With that, he raised one fist, and hit Raven solid to the jaw. The gray-haired pilot tumbled back upon impact,  
  
"What the fuck---do you want?! Get up!" Van cried out, now very perplexed with his rival's sudden actions, his fists clenched defensively. However words escaped him as Raven quickly sat up, with one hand at the jaw. And instead of giving him the acid glare, he looked at his eyes---as he did awhile ago in the corridor---  
  
Like he was looking to his soul, smiling.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Between the wall and me, There is only you and two heart beats. Why must this be wrong, feel like this and, Why do your hands touch beyond skin? Ecstasy from the nothing, Desire beyond any control---  
  
The want to make you feel, A reason you were looking for...to believe.  
  
*****  
  
---yay! Another chapter done ^-^---now to face that horrendous bitch called mental block *stares at chapter 3* ---- rav-chan 


	3. When love sprang from only hate

Note: **crushes evil tenses** mwahahaha! Did I do it? Yaoi! This chapter contains lemonish contents-well it damn be . I can't have it beta-read -.- I broke my bro's pc, and that means less time internet usage, and being the parasite that I am, makes most of it in someone else's O.o computer and account. I nearly had gone insane with my so delayed updates----gomen! *kicks big brother*  
  
All I can say, it's all worth the f***in wait :)  
  
*ori oscuro persona stat on*  
  
Ori Oscuro: You haven't update your other RK fics yet aside from ice blue eyes -.- RaVen0us: Yeah, yeah whatever--- *drools at the keyboard* time to harvest some lemons!  
  
Part 3: When Love sprang from only hate  
  
Van stood upright, his body in a defensive stance waiting for Raven to hit him back. But the taller boy didn't bother; he approached the youth very calmly instead, taking one step at a time. Van stumbled backwards, trying to glide through the side of the wall until he can reach the knob of the door. No such luck, the door was locked from outside. His heart thumping nervously, and his breathing coming in short quick intervals, he awaited in baited breath with his fists clenched tight.  
  
Why was Raven looking at him so strangely lately?  
  
Why was Raven kissing his palms like that?  
  
What was it?  
  
Raven has approached him dangerously near enough that the only way out, is to slide underneath him. Again, the taller boy seemed to think ahead and quickly lounged him at the wall, pinning the other pilot fiercely beneath it. His breath feels moist and heavy, and was just less than an inch across Van's face. The assessing indigo eyes, seems to implore much in his dark onyx-like own.  
  
"Van," he whispered, his indigo gaze still fixed to his face. Raven's body acts in its own strange accord, shifting its mass somehow, but pinning Van in a strange disturbing sense. His lower right knee has found its way to nudge between the other pilot's legs, incidentally brushing *that* part. Van gasped at the pressure and tries to recoil from his rival's grip. That simple quick sensual contact has brought a reactionary impulse of flush to his cheeks.  
  
"Van," he repeated, but this time his tone is quicker and impatient, "You are my enemy, yet I can't bring myself to kill you--"  
  
Van's gaze is a blend of surprise, anger and frustration, "Then you tell me Raven! What is that you want with me?" he muttered angrily, making a slight curse as he tried to struggle from the gray-haired pilots grip. "I want to hear it from you, right now!"  
  
It came in quick, with absolutely no thought or so what ever. Raven brought his arms and wounded it around Van's body, hugging him tightly. So tight, that he could feel his lungs getting crushed underneath, he was so surprised at Raven's reaction that he momentarily went limp. "It's YOU that I want, Van Flyheight." He groaned, "I can't help myself---it's just you."  
  
"Well, you are damned wrong---"  
  
"Yes it is, wrong---but it is so wonderful at the same time." Words spout from his mouth without even thinking, he is acting out of instinct---the same way he did when he talked to Van earlier. It's like a strange untamed emotion has been infecting his brain. He cocked his head slightly nearer to the other boy, whose face is starting to blush brightly out of uneasiness of the attention he is getting. "Why is everything that is wrong, feels so wonderful?"  
  
"Raven?"  
  
Van whispered his name again, this time less coherently. His mouth was there---an inch away. Raven told himself "this is wrong, he is my enemy", but his body was firm and yet soft at the same time and he wanted him. God, how he wanted him.  
  
Raven relied on pure concentrated determination to control himself. He closed his eyes, which only heightened his sense of smell, sound and touch. Other than sight, that left one more sensation---taste. How would he taste? He opened his eyes. There is a worried, perplexed expression in Van's eyes. Real worry, a very worried look in that dark onyx gaze---in Zi's name, there was only so much a man could take.  
  
Raven's mouth was on his an instant later, his hand clutched Van's ebony dark spiky hair of the back of his head, holding him against his. Van went even softer against him, as if his kiss made him weak. He stroked his lips with his tongue and gave the smaller boy a quiet gasp of surprise. Raven's tongue sank into his sweet mouth, filled it, and the kiss was just as he'd thought. He tasted like honey, of fire, and of everything he ever could need. The taller boy's hand slid over the other boy's shoulder and slowly down his slim back to caress his behind. He moaned against the strength of his tongue.  
  
Raven then feel that the other pilot is unwittingly returning his affections, he gently tore away his mouth from his, upon doing so, he felt Van trying to lean closer, trying to catch the taste of his mouth, his eyes half-closed and fevered with his smoldering caresses.  
  
"Van--" he rasped, as he catches the brunette into his arms and they both fell to bed that is near them. Raven held him hard against him and rolled him, pressing his back into the soft mattress, his mouth taking his sweetly but firmly, mimicking the way he wanted to take his body---in long, slow strokes that lasted forever. With Van beneath him he pressed closer, feeling him sink into the fluffy pillows and annoying silk sheets but not caring, because he moaned against his mouth and gripped his shoulders.  
  
Van didn't push him away. He held Raven fast and kept his mouth open, his curious tongue moving in an answer to his. Raven shifted his hips, rocking slowly against him in a steady rhythm as old as time.  
  
It was happening too fast, too strong. Too out of control. Raven fought with himself, fought his primal urge and reason. He drew his mouth away, his breath coming as fast as his passion did. He looked down into those eyes, those deep onyx black eyes that looked at him with such wonder.  
  
His own emotions have took control of him, he does not know why he is doing this to Flyheight-but, he wanted to show what is really stirring deep inside of him-all these years---all these time. He suddenly wanted him for all the days and nights left in this lonely lifetime. He wanted to die inside this other youth. But even in the heat of passion he wouldn't take him just because he wanted to. He moved off him and he looked up at him with a look that was half-puzzled, half hurt.  
  
"Here." He offered his hand and helped him sat up. Van looked everywhere but at him. Raven immediately sat up, turned away and decided to look out the room window. No such luck, there isn't ANY. They might have locked themselves in a 2nd class undecorated room. Sworing mildly, he turned his attention to the lamps and switched them all on.  
  
"Raven!"  
  
It gave the gray-haired pilot a start, and turned around to Van. He does know what to expect next, he made a total fool of himself---a fool in front of his rival, his nemesis-Flyheight.  
  
"This is wrong; I'm your enemy---"  
  
/but it wasn't right either--/  
  
"Raven, listen to me." He said placidly, standing up and grabbing the other boy's hand. "Do you really mean what you did?"  
  
For the first time, it was Raven who could not look at him in the eye. 'I'm such an ass.' He muttered silently. He took a deep breath, and looked Van firmly, "Yes, I did. So are you happy now?"  
  
Van didn't respond.  
  
"You demand me what I want from you, Van Flyheight. And I just gave it to you, I wanted you. I don't know why--- Raven swore again, finding so hard to speak words aside from taunting. "I'm sorry, I should have never said that." He added quickly, trying to put control in his voice. Van was too close to him right now, and he was saying foolish things he never imagined saying. If the other boy doesn't have much control check like he has, he might have hit him AGAIN and to the face this time. And he was lucky, that he didn't.  
  
"Raven--"  
  
"Yeah?" he sighed uneasily  
  
Raven's indigo eyes widened on the other boy's unexpected reaction. Van threw his arms around his pale neck, straddling his weight towards him then kissed him lightly and passionately at his nape. His warm intimate touch, something that no has ever done to him, made Raven saw stars.  
  
"Would you please---kiss me again? The way you did before?"  
  
The fight was lost, he knew it now, and he found he didn't care. "Van, do you understood what I just said? You know what that means?"  
  
"I know what it means."  
  
He felt the warmth of his breath to his shoulder and the firmness of his tanned arms as he wrapped himself around him. And Raven knew for that moment, Van was his. Raven shoved him back to the bed, atop of him, giving him a deep wet kiss that silently signed a mutual surrender. His sex leapt to life as he held against Van, pressing itself insolently between them.  
  
The brunette broke away from him in an instant, startled, and poked a finger down, his ginger touch soft against the thin fabric of robe and boxers that Raven is only wearing. "Shit! That's very---quite large isn't it?"  
  
Raven growled, a growl that began deep in his belly and rumbled up his throat, but there was no anger on it. Only possession, wanting and hunger. "Be quiet, Van." He said softly, as he covered his tanned face in feathering kisses.  
  
Van trailed his hand lightly down at the length of him, his touch gentle but insistent as his mouth found Raven's. He kissed him, hard and urgent, his tongue sliding into him, possessing him with all the hard hunger he felt for him. His hands move slowly around and down Raven's back.  
  
"What are you up to now, wench?" Raven growled, shutting his eyes against the pleasure of his hands on him.  
  
"Taking off your 'clothes'" Van said roughly, peeling the bath robe off in a simple motion.  
  
Raven heard a moan slide from his throat.  
  
Van slid off his own layers of shirts and set it aside. He then looked at him, his onyx-like eyes frowning. "You know---I'm not used to this. Doing it with you either too." He confessed, scratching his head.  
  
"Good, Van, so am I."  
  
Raven leaned forward to kiss Van again, kissed him with a smoldering fire that lit the last corners of his slim frame. Van's hands roamed boldly over him, belying the fragility of his voice, and Raven dared to touch him, to brush his hands across the line of his collarbone and over his shoulders and across his firm chest. He drew his breath sharply after that, and then let it out again in a long, slow sigh of pleasure. Van's hands roamed down the flatness of the other boy's chest to rest at the waist of his boxers, and Raven realized he was holding his breath. The brunette gave him a questioning look,  
  
"May I?"  
  
Raven swallowed. Van was moving fast, too fast, he felt caught in the whirlwind of him. Everything in him screamed that it was wrong to do this, that he was an enemy-his rival, that he bound to destroy someday. He is relishing every time they fought in the battlefield in the pleasure of seeing him defeated. And now he is doing this, bedding the enemy and the 'enemy' also responded to his strange actions. Van surprisingly wanted him, with the same burning intensity that was roaring in his ears, deafening him even as he slid his boxers down, even as he tugged at the zipper holding Van's casual trousers.  
  
Van was confused at first, uneasy perhaps of being there underneath him. Raven's sex lay between them, hard and long across his belly, and he thought he might die wanting him. But still, Raven held himself in check, tasting Van's mouth, letting him taste him.  
  
He slid his hands from cupping his face down to caress his firm, well-toned chest, his thumbs toying with the nipples and now they were hard, and he was beginning to wriggle beneath him. Raven felt a sharp stab to the belly, as if he was being murdered by the pleasure. He broke away from his mouth to kiss and lick his chest, sucking each nipple long and slow. Van's breath was ragged now, and when he nipped him gently---so gently, more a caress than a bit---he broke out into an inarticulate moan. Raven moved up to kiss his mouth again, his long slender fingers splaying sensually to his chest.  
  
"Can you feel how much I wanted you?" He said hoarsely in between the kisses in his mouth, thrusting his hips an inch forward, so that his sex slid slightly along his belly. He shut his eyes that, afraid to say more for his fear his voice would give away.  
  
"Raven---I don't know what I want---but"  
  
Raven smiled and reached his right hand to stroke him between his legs; it was hard and almost in a point of going to come. He teased him there, and slid his hand beneath to feel his tight little hole, he can penetrate him easily, but he did not penetrate him. He merely kept his fingers sliding back and forth across the entrance in him, moving only the tiniest fraction into him with each stroke. Van's breath was quiet now, but fast. He let the other youth's thumb stray to seek out his pleasure, and flicked it gently. He responded with a sharp intake of breath. Raven flicked it again, then again, stroking it as he pushed his finger slowly inside him. Long slow strokes, joining Van, filling him, the way Raven would fill him when he would be ready for him. But Van was ready for him now, and Raven knew. Tight, yes, but hot and hard and panting with the anticipation of it. If he wished, he could drive into him and finish the torment with a few quick strokes.  
  
Raven had never been one to take short cuts.  
  
He slid his hand free of him, and he made a small plaintive whimper. "Please, don't stop!"  
  
Raven moved down, skin sliding against skin as he knelt between his legs, the soft mattress's sheets shifting beneath to his knees. "I promise you, I won't" he said, and then he bent down to kiss Van in the deepest, most intimate kiss of all.  
  
*****  
  
Van thought he must certainly die, as he felt the soft pressure of his lips and tongue on him, on the place that demanded to be swallowed. Had he not known---how could he have known? He kissed him with small, light sips, then his tongue flickering, sponging the length of his thing and then took it hungrily, sucking the head and then the whole erection to his mouth. Raven would bob his head up and down, and Van could feel the span of his hands fingering his hole as he arched up. The taller boy pressed him down again, and bore down on him with his mouth, devouring him once more in sensual, rhythmic sucking and nibbling, consuming him.  
  
Van's fists that were clenched at his sides, reached up to press Raven's head down to him, to demand that they finish this. He wrapped his fingers to his gray silky strands and pulled his mouth to him.  
  
The brisk sucking motion became a slow, persistent stroke of his tongue, and Raven insinuated his finger into him. Van felt invaded at first, wanting almost to move away from that probing, insistent finger, but as he stroked him he felt his world begin to dissolve around him. He could feel the pull calling out of him, calling him to join an ancient and terrifying dance. Almost, almost, he had the strength to resist it, but it called him, called in the rhythmic motion of his mouth and the sliding of the fingers--- two now, and then three, stretching him, testing him, pushing him. And still Van hungered for more, felt his deepest muscles clinging to his fingers as the dance called out to him in a wild whirling, frenzy and a song he could not deny. And then he stopped denying it, and he leapt into the magnificent annihilation of the whirl wind, and he was lost.  
  
-continued-  
  
**myahaha!!! Me made lemon, and so damn long too _; Oh well, that's what you got from reading too much romantic novels. I just made Raven just so damn romantic, ne? So then---let's just check the next chapter I uploaded same with this one. Yes, yes--- I'm making up for my dry spell =_= Please read and review ~Rav-chan** 


	4. Morning after

Note: **couldn't think of anything to note for ^^;**  
  
  
  
Part four: Morning after  
  
The next day,  
  
Van has the most strangest and delicious dream. He dreamt he was making love to his nemesis, Raven-but instead of being the cold rock that he was, the gray-haired pilot known for his merciless tactics is surprisingly very passionate and intense in their love making. It was the second biggest surprise, since the first one came that he was making love with the same sex. Come to think of it, he has been having strange 'dreams' ever since he became a lieutenant in the republican army, or even before Irvine called him 'sugar bear'. It's like a deep secret fantasy he locked within his head that has been ecstatically released. Anyway, it's been a blessedly bed- wetting dream, and as he lazily wakes up, he can feel flapping butterflies touching his exposed naked tanned skin.  
  
Naked?  
  
Butterflies?  
  
His black onyx gaze shot opened quickly into realization. He is not having a dream, he is really naked. But where does the 'flapping butterflies' sensation came from? Van gazed down, as feels the light teasing touches on his legs and thighs. To his surprise, he finds Raven hovering down at his torso and pressing light soft wet kisses to his tanned skin. Before he can protest, a sharp wordless gasp drawled out of his breath as Raven reached *that* area, stroke the thing teasingly between his legs with his tongue and then swallowed it whole.  
  
"Ah gods! Raven! Stop!" he moaned, his back arching, as the taller boy sucked within him hungrily, sponging it and washing his you know what with his tongue like there is no tomorrow.  
  
"Say please." He murmured between intervals, and Van can see the lustful sparkle in those indigo depths.  
  
"Raven, please stop!"  
  
It took one last lustful draw of his mouth that finally send electrifying signals to Van's spine, making him finally come in Raven's mouth. He made a soft cry. The gray-haired pilot licked the salty wet sex that had flowed out, then proceeds to lift his pallid face up to Van's, kissing him deeply, allowing him to incidentally taste his own come. Van reluctantly struggled through out the kiss, and by the time Raven let go of his hold, the brunette is panting heavily, panting heavily, shocked and a bit furious.  
  
"Good, did that finally wakes you up?" Raven said smugly, with a sly smile curved with his lips and a sensuous look imprinted on his face.  
  
Van flinched when the pale hand reached out and slightly stroke a dark lock of his hair off his forehead. "FINE! You got me," he muttered, in a deeply embarrassed tone before he managed to assess his surroundings. Van nearly forgot that they are sleeping in an unoccupied room, where they incidentally got locked inside. He remembered foggily that evening, but he was lucky that he DID remember anything. Unlike that incident with Irvine where he did wonder if anything DID happen.  
  
He was again disturbed in the train of his thought, as Raven pressed delicate kisses again, this time on the crook of his arm up to his shoulder. He noticed that he is kissing the mild bruises and welts in his arms, which done by probably by an intense grip.  
  
"I did that," Raven murmured, then smiling wickedly as he fingered gently a lock of his ebony dark hair then pressed a firm kiss at the nape of Van's neck, almost nibbling the skin beneath it. "I can't believe you are such a weakling, Van."  
  
/Where DID THAT came from?/  
  
Van was about to protest, and starts to sit up, but Raven pulled him down. "Listen first to me Van, look at me."  
  
Van hesistantly looked at the taller boy with striking pallor and piercing indigo eyes. He took a deep sigh, and nodded that he'll listen. It must be serious.  
  
"We are in the middle of the foreplay, I penetrated you---and then you fucking fainted! I thought you could be better than that!" Raven snapped, in an almost scolding but somehow amused tone. Van nearly fell off from his side of the bed. "I have to slap you three times, before you realized you fainted! Is it really that big?!"  
  
It surprised a laugh out Van, and then the taller boy followed. They continued laughing, until both of their stomachs are aching and tears are streaming down their eyes. After they subsided, Raven took a deep breath, then quickly sat up---reverting back to his old self as if nothing have happened and threw Van's clothes on as if commanding him to dress up and leave, and put on his. Heck, if you consider a pair of boxers and a bathrobe as clothes.  
  
"Raven---"  
  
"I got no regrets." He spoke, without turning around as he tied a knot of the robe on his waist.  
  
"Okay---" he heard sifting of clothes as Van starts to fix himself up. The brunette has something else to say, and he can't tell what. Although he is not the inquisitive type, Raven is dying to know what it is-if there is anything he has to hide.  
  
"Well, do you?"  
  
"Umm, not really Raven." Van replied, then approached the boy upfront. If Raven can't face him, he should. The gray-haired pilot frowned, since there is a particular expression in Van's face that he is not expecting. "Raven, it is just not like you not looking at me when we talk. I think you are the one regretting this."  
  
"I told you, I don't." he muttered, then whipping his indigo gaze straight at him. " You are a strange one Flyheight---" he can't contain his curiousity anymore, "Just several hours ago, you despise me as hell then you get clingy and concerned on me the next after what I did to you. I just don't get it why."  
  
Van shrugged, "Maybe because all you do is destroy military bases and ruin people's lives, and have been on my ass again after four years. Who wouldn't get irritated with that?"  
  
/Is that all he can see? Me, a destroyer a heartless mercenary? He didn't know the rest of me-my life/  
  
"I'm also human you know."  
  
Van moved by the door, and tries to figure to break the lock open. "I'm glad you admit to that, you don't know, that what both of us, you and me, are thinking---"  
  
"Us?"  
  
"I thought Irvine would be the death of me, and it figures he doesn't know-- -much really that is."  
  
/What is he getting at?/  
  
"He called you sugar bear?"  
  
Van frowned a bit, then proceeds to continue breaking the lock. "After I woke up pretty naked beside him in bed, can't imagine that I can EVEN touch him. That's why I ran away and wound up here." There came a click at the door, and he turned to Raven with a smile of success. "We just happen to be both happy people, that's a secret we learned later last night."  
  
"Happy people?"  
  
Then it dawned in Raven, what 'happy' he was referring. He let out a short chuckle of laughter.  
  
"It's nice to see you laugh like that for a change," Van commented, then standing up. "That must be the reason why I suddenly got drawn to you."  
  
Raven opened the door and looked at Van now standing beside him, "Meaning?"  
  
"When you talked with me and then hugged me last night, Raven. I just knew it. You are just like everyone else, you need some to lean on---you are not that unflappable as it seems. All that is a mask of your painful past. I was just surprised in all the people you want to lean on-is me."  
  
Raven let out a deep sigh, and brushed a lock of his gray bangs from his eyes, exiting ahead of Van, nudging him away stoically. "There is nothing that concerns you with my past, Flyheight."  
  
"There is Raven," the boy firmly replied, "Now I've think of it---we can be friends. My father would have been happier you know."  
  
The words pierced Raven as a lance, Van's old man---the late Major of the republican army. He recalled the trouble the Major had gone through, saving him and readily to adopt him as his own even with the potential risk when the Imperial fleet of Prozen attacked. He can't remember much except, he was so raged that he almost shoot a gun to the silver-haired pathetic man.  
  
Come to think of it, he should have.  
  
Come to think of it, he is such an ass.  
  
He had willingly allowed him to bind under his control, feeding his anger that breeded to hate--his hate to something much deadly; until at the point all and everything imprinted to his mind is hatred for zoids and to carry the direct orders of Prozen to destroy. He became a machine placed to do orders he should not question of, a machine nonetheless that does not now how to decide for himself no better than the zoids he detests so much,  
  
What have he done?  
  
"Raven? Are you okay?" Van tries to snap him back to reality, and Raven blinked with a start.  
  
"Yes, I guess so-I just remembered something."  
  
Van looked about the corridor, outside a certain hall area that seems to appear a little chaotic. People are crowding in a certain room, and with the look of it, it seems flooding---with water and bubbles.  
  
"Well better remember it, is that---your room, flooding over there?"  
  
Raven's indigo eyes widened in realization, he forgot to turn off the water in the tub! And that was early in the morning----it's already almost noon!  
  
"Oh god, shadow!"  
  
-continued-  
  
**woohoo! Another one down :) I'm pleased with myself. I can't believe I can type this much in a stealth mode. Please read and review [No Damn Flames] Rav-chan** 


	5. Coincidental oppositions

Note: This chapter is more on Raven's reflections---it was actually quite short, but it's just to summarize why he did what he did :]  
  
  
  
Part five: coincidental oppositions  
  
  
  
Van is not the least surprised to hear Shadow was with Raven. The dark organoid is always loyally near to its master. It suddenly made him remember Zeke, and he wondered---how is everyone he left behind is faring without him. He was quite tactless out there, when he ran away because of what Irvine did to him. Later, it occurred to him that the older boy must be joking---but still, he did not know the TRUE reason why he really left. If Irvine meant it as a joke, it offended him. It was a secret he had been hiding for so long---  
  
His thread of thoughts were cut off as he saw Raven clambered carelessly to the corridor of his own room, shoving the annoying people off his path as he fumbled for the room key. He earned strange glances, having worn nothing but only his robe and underwear. "What are you looking at?" he snapped to an on looker on his right, before he finally kicked the door open.  
  
Soap suds galore and water flooded down the hall way immediately as he flung it open. To his relief, the whole room seems okay, only the furniture was soaked and his belongings are fine. He quickly rushed to the crate box, which is half-wet and he peers through the hole. He didn't hear any grunts, it's likely impossible that shadow would drown. "Good, you're still breathing." He sighed in relief, continuing. "DON'T make any one hear you. Just stay in the box whatever happens."  
  
Shadow made a low grunt of disapproval.  
  
"Just stay there shadow, I'll tell you when it's okay."  
  
It took Raven a hefty bribe, the usual threat and a bit of apology to the maintenance not to check on his things and clean up the room. Even when he learned that his housekeeping bill has soared, he is not going to escape from this cruise. He just can't---  
  
Leave Van behind.  
  
He can't do anything now, it came out then and there---all the confusing feelings, all the strange welling up emotions, it all came to one shuddering yet satisfactory and relieving conclusion. His intense feelings for Van---he realized is nothing more than hate, and all the fury inside is more on passion. That passion he swore and keep on denying had formed to what he might call love.  
  
He is in love? No, he even didn't know what love is---or what is it like either. It's all alien to him. He wondered whether it might have been lust, because they do say sometimes being so lonely and alone drifting on the battlefield might have given 'strange sexual urges' to other people. Well it's true, for those in the navy. The heck he isn't in a navy. True, he was lonely, alone and absolutely with no one to talk with except for probably Shadow, and a few 'allies' that he didn't give an ass damn if they die--- but he was pretty sure he didn't do what he did last night because he was horny.  
  
"You know, you can share my room if you want." Van said, and Raven was totally unaware that the other boy was behind him all the time. He was so surprised, that he hit his head over the lamp where he was bending underneath; he turned around and gave Van a furious look.  
  
"Sorry." Van scratched his head, and uneasily gazed somewhere else, anywhere but Raven's face. Is he starting to regret what happened several hours ago? "I just thought, with your room having been a mess and all---"  
  
"I can take care of myself, Van. I always manage---I always had."  
  
"Don't be stubborn. Come on, it's the least I can do from what I owe you."  
  
Raven stood up and wondered, peering to Van's face "Owe me?"  
  
"For telling me where the comfort room is." He grinned silly, and for the first time Raven didn't feel annoyed seeing Flyheight smile. A shy smile curved his lips and agreed with a terse nod, and then he gave a worried glimpse at the box.  
  
"Yes, shadow can come with you."  
  
Shadow let out a roar of disapproval, who was listening all the time and Raven has to swear mildly, lashing out a few more sharp words until the organoid just wheezed a reluctant low growl. Van scratched his head and made an uneasy laugh, "I guess your organoid does not agree to the idea. But he is yours so you can have him at my place if you wish."  
  
"He must agree on what I wish, I'm to be followed." Raven replied, cocking his head lightly with a lazy grin creasing his face. "---and that is, yes, I accept your invitation. Thanks, Van."  
  
*****  
  
Thanks Van-  
  
He never thought he can say those words, and if it is, it would be the understatement of the whole chaotic century. He always managed on his own, but out of sheer curiosity and wanting he was drawn to be with the other boy like a moth to a flame. That moment, it does not matter anymore--- he didn't care if he is his rival, he didn't care it was him that scarred his hands and defeat him in battle---for he didn't know why he have to hate him at the first place.  
  
How his only love sprang from the irony of his hate. Maybe because of the tragic of his young life, the numerous battles he fought, the years he spent that jaded and hardened his dark reality all occurred to him has made his life even more senseless, making his subconscious crave for a presence to lean on to. Raven learned that during his stay in Van's room those past few days, and how in those passionate nights he would crawl secretly into his bed covers and slowly make mad love to him. He was surprised that every time he did it, the other boy silently consented to his actions. They also had their minor arguments by the day, sometimes it's about who will pay for the break fast or lunch bill or where to hide shadow from the daily housekeeping. At one point, Van made a comment that it is cruel to treat the organoid by hiding it in the box and he could probably set it free somewhere were no one will notice it.  
  
"Why do you even bother? He is not your organoid. I can do pretty much what I wanted." Raven snapped, it was pretty futile to argue with Van however, since the other pilot has always something to say. But what he said that day, made sense to him for the first time. It was like an answer that pierced to his heart,  
  
"You might be skilled pilot yourself, Raven. I admit to that. But I can't say you know much in life---do you?"  
  
-continued-  
  
**TOO short---onwards to the next chapter!** 


	6. When suspicions arise

Note: long chapter---but my favorite! :]  
  
Part six: when suspicions arise  
  
A few hours later, they reached their destination.  
  
"So this is where you are going?" Raven felt foolish, as he questioned the brunette while watching him pack his things. Van looked up and nodded, "Yeah, I guess so---" and he asked, "How about you? Where are you heading at?"  
  
"I don't know." The gray haired pilot shrugged, "Maybe until Shadow breaks the crate I guess."  
  
They both looked at each other and laughed, Raven felt a mild wave of headache passed through his head since he wasn't accustomed to laugh as naturally like this before.  
  
"I think Shadow would be glad without me around now, ne?"  
  
"Nah, he is just temperamental. He is not used with other people around him- --like Zeke for example." Then Raven paused, somehow that statement about his organoid made him feel that he is going to regret something if he let Van leave the ship.  
  
"Do you know where are REALLY going?" he asked again, "I mean, where are you actually heading at?"  
  
Van made an exhausted sigh, "To be honest, I don't know. I just ran away for some personal reasons---" and admitting it almost shyly, "You know-that incident with Irvine."  
  
"So it seems pretty useless now, going this far---you still want to go back?"  
  
"Of course I want to! But like you said, I am already here it is use---"  
  
Van wasn't able to finish his statement, and gawked as he watched Raven moved towards the crate box without question and ripped it open, freeing Shadow.  
  
"Van Flyheight, I'm going with you. I'm going to help you find your way back."  
  
*****  
  
They finally stepped out of the cruise together, and Raven vowed for reasons unknown to himself to help Van back to the military base. It would probably take about a week---traveling with his geno breaker is giving them THAT difficulty. But it's the best option than riding another expensive way of public travel. And they don't have much option the first day. A lot of townspeople had spotted the flying geno breaker and it caused quite a ruckus way back, so on the second day they decide to left it hidden in a few mile radius in the mornings and that they travel by foot. No such luck, many of the people both recognized Van as he was and they also recognized Raven, with the dark organoid following around. Raven muttered about something putting shadow back into a crate again, after their 5 unsuccessful attempts to get in a tavern to drink and rest. At the third day, the gray haired pilot was almost at the point of exhaustion and giving up when Van came up with a half-amusing plan.  
  
"I would rather have you defeat me in battle again than agree to that." Raven muttered, eyeing the brunette with a cold indigo glare. Van remained unfazed with his comment, and he was grinning silly, "Why, do you have any better ideas?"  
  
"No---" Raven replied, and then stood up, placing his arms over Van's shoulders, giving the other boy a good shake as he shouted, "For Zi's sake! Can't you think of any BETTER idea than having to disguise as WOMEN?!"  
  
"We did it once on Rudolf some few years ago and it worked,"  
  
"Flyheight, His Majesty way back then is a BOY. Go figure how two men like us would pass as a FEMALE now."  
  
"Well, you'll pass as a nice woman." The pilot grinned even wider, trying to get the other youth's spirit up. He thumbed a lock of gray hair from his forehead, "Your hair needed only to---"  
  
Raven slapped the hand away from his head, grabbing it by the wrist and giving Van a reprimanding glare. "I said NO."  
  
"Fine, have it your way then." The boy shrugged of the iron grip and leaned back at the wall, giving himself one exhausted sigh. "It isn't easy traveling when everybody just knows who you are, eh?"  
  
"Van," Raven spoke again  
  
"Yes?" the bob of spiky ebony hair turned around, Raven liked the way those curious large eyes look on him with such question.  
  
"There is ANOTHER good reason why your idea is not a good one."  
  
"How to hide shadow?"  
  
Raven made a snicker, and lowered, shook his head. "Shadow can take care of himself. It's you I am worried about. Have you ever imagined how will you look like if you disguise as a woman?"  
  
They both paused for awhile, each imagining the possibility. After a few minutes, Van shuddered and held both palms to his head, much to Raven's amusement and the gray-haired boy let out a roar of laughter.  
  
"Ouch! You are right, IT is a headache!" Van blanched, "This is worse than getting called sugar bear! I can't imagine myself in a pink dress!"  
  
"Pink? You're thinking PINK? I think you'll look nice in red---it set's your eyes perfectly. Right, sugar bear?" Raven teased, bringing color to Van's cheeks.  
  
"Don't start with me now, Raven!" the boy protested, but was disarmed when Raven quickly approached and silenced him with a quick kiss on the nose, he frowned and stared at it, wondering if it left any mark.  
  
"You know it's getting to be a habit," Raven said, "-getting to kiss you every time you make me laugh."  
  
"Aw, come on---"  
  
"No, seriously."  
  
The two teens are within the arms of each other, and almost making out at the damn floor when a soldier barged into their room (they are staying in an inn) with them is the inn keeper. The soldier gave them a bewildered look and ran shouting, leaving the inn keeper gaping as Raven quickly tore his arms away from Van's body. The other boy peered on his shoulder, and was up to his feet in no time when he noticed what is going on.  
  
"Shit, they tracked us down." Raven muttered, zipping his trousers up and hauling the other boy to his feet. He didn't have to ask where all those soldiers have come from, obviously they are after the bounty on his head, and he noticed, that they came from the imperial forces. Cursing out loud, he knocked down the screaming inn keeper much to Van's chagrin.  
  
"She's just unconscious."  
  
"You still don't have to do that!"  
  
Raven didn't say anything as the other boy protested, he is only focused in one agenda: get out of here, and as fast as possible. He was hoping none of the witnesses have gotten the idea that they 'are doing something' on the floor. He could also run away himself to make everything else fast and easy.  
  
But he don't  
  
As they made their haste escape, he is pulling Van tightly by his side along the way.  
  
*****  
  
It's already near nightfall, and the narrow escape gave him an idea--- Raven decides its best that they travel at night and rest by day, to lessen the amount of mounting suspicious witnesses around the area. In this case, he can't see the stars from above---the stars show if the weather would be good or not. And there are barely a few luminous stars in the cloudy sky as the sun finally set in the horizon.  
  
"We will stay here for the night," he said tersely, his indigo eyes barely blinking. "We can't risk it if the weather would go bad. Why don't you start the bon fire?"  
  
Van nodded, "Sure thing. I can't fix the tent already anyway."  
  
Raven frowned, "Tent? You brought one?" He was pleasantly surprised that Van suddenly materialized camping materials, and all that in two duffel bags of a person who ran away. He is as prepared as a boy scout.  
  
"I prepared just in case," the brunette grinned, "We can even share it together, isn't it romantic?" he kidded Raven, who just frowned even more. Romantic. Something Raven was surely not. He couldn't spout nice pleasant words pleasantly and even if he try, it always sounded strange. He even tries to sing if he gets lonely, but he was told by Reys that his singing voice sounded like that of a wounded cow. He said nothing, just set the tent aside and walked toward the trees.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"We should get some sleep."  
  
Van followed, rushing to keep up with his longer strides, "Wouldn't you help me with the tent?"  
  
"The trees will be our 'tent'." He shook out a blanket with a snap, dropped it, and stretched out on the ground, crossing his boots at the ankle.  
  
Van stood by, having grabbed two small fluffy pillows and some blankets. Where did Van get those? "This is camping Van, not a leisure trip. Where the hell did you get them?"  
  
"The cruiser has tons of them, I grabbed myself some souvenirs" he said, tugging both the small pillows in the crook of his arm, and then looked at the sky. "You are right; it looks like it WOULD rain. Are you certain you are alright there?"  
  
"I am certain."  
  
Van shrugged, "Since you insist, I will join you anyway." And he proceeds to throw his pillows and to lay every blanket neatly beside the other pilot. Raven swore what the other pilot is doing is totally weird and out of place. Van finally settled down the blanketed ground and his hands under his head, leaning down the pillows, and after a minute of peace filled silence, he said "Raven?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Would you like a pillow?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I have an extra."  
  
He grunted.  
  
"Only one just to rest you're head on."  
  
Raven turned over and looked at him. Van was holding out a pillow. He took it, stuffed it under his head, and closed his eyes. There, hope he is satisfied, he silently thought.  
  
Van shifted a few more minutes before settling down, "Raven?"  
  
"What now?"  
  
"I have an extra blanket too."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Well, you need something decently to sleep in to."  
  
"I've slept more often on the ground in the past several years than in a bed." Then he turned over and looked at him. He felt suddenly very foolish. "But you have slept in the comforts of having a bed back at your headquarters, these past few years, haven't you?"  
  
"Nah, I slept in a hammock once." The ebony dark hair shook a bit to disagree, "It was quite interesting. Took me four attempts before I managed not to spill out of it. It was the only time I have ever bloodied my nose." He softly chuckled, then with a tired yawn he pulled the extra blanket over himself and huddled under it, with only his face and the bob of his spiky black hair peeking through.  
  
Raven called himself silently an ass, again. He should have planned where they could stay, far from the prying eyes of many. Far from getting suspicious witnesses, far from what others would be thinking about them--- and that could probably ruin Flyheight's career. Huh? Now he is starting to really care about the youth, oddment indeed. Caring is such a different emotion to him, he hadn't thought about what the other boy would need. He had been too determined to get him alone. Too eager to be with him---too desperate to think clearly. Now he was with him, alone, and his time was passing quickly, like sand leaking to the other side of an hour glass, he felt each grain was a lost moment.  
  
"This is rather nice," Raven said with a sigh, catching Van's attention. "Look at all those stars." He sounded surprised and pleased (finding himself talking with no reason). He continued, "I don't think I never seen the sky like this---interesting."  
  
"Liar. You told me the weather will go bad,"  
  
"MIGHT go bad, but the wind seem to blew the clouds away somehow."  
  
"Yeah. Somehow seeing the sky likes this makes the night less dark and frightening." Van agreed, and he stared up at the sky, Raven glanced by him wondering why would someone think it is frightening. The air was still, cold and it was quiet. To him there was a strange power in the darkness of the night. A sense of peace, for battles was not fought at night.  
  
"Do you know," Raven whispered softly, "Men use the stars to guide them home."  
  
"Did you?"  
  
Raven paused. "There is an empty neglected place I once called home,"  
  
"Sorry,"  
  
There was a long silence between them, before Raven started again. "See that star above us?" he pointed out with a gloved hand, "That's what called a mariner's star. A ship's crew uses the stars to keep on course."  
  
"It's beautiful." The other boy quipped, then asked, "So what is like to sail a ship?"  
  
Raven turned, frowning. "Just because I know it's a Mariner's star doesn't mean I have to be a sailor, should I?" He was quickly disarmed by the youth's soft laugh, and felt a warm hand by his head, rubbing his hair in a friendly gesture, "Ah, Raven. Don't be too serious! You must know how to take a joke."  
  
The gray-haired pilot read the puzzlement in Flyheight's face when he muttered, "So, I mean---uh, how does it feel?"  
  
"Feel?"  
  
"To take a joke?"  
  
The spiky haired youth eyed him strangely one more time, and shrugged, with a small smile creased on his lips. "Just go to sleep, Raven. You'll know soon enough."  
  
"Yeah, whatever."  
  
Raven stared back at the night sky and wondered when he had stopped noticing things aside from the vast number of stars. It all started from one tragic event over another, after that he never really do cared. He never had the time to notice what other people his age has taken for granted: the innocence, the eager curiosity, the freedom and just being with no care of the world---a normal average youth. He sat up a little and rested his head on his hand while he looked down on him. Van lay there, calmly, and he was surprised he is still very much awake and looking at him with expectant eagerness. He cursed lightly, and blushing, he shifted his indigo gaze somewhere else.  
  
"I'm just keeping on guard. Who knows what punk there lurks behind the bushes." He mumbled,  
  
"And kick their ass?"  
  
"Definitely,"  
  
Van was quiet, and then he cocked his head. "I think I'll think twice before anything else. Yet you find pleasure in danger do you?"  
  
He shrugged, uncomfortable at speaking so plainly of his thoughts, but he fought to keep his expression impassive. "They don't know anything about piloting Zoids."  
  
Van said nothing, and brought the blanket around him. Raven wished, HE would go to sleep for Zi's sake. Then he could watch him freely, watch him sleep. The other youth's scent drifted to him in the air, making him aware of the ways he'd just soon forget. He took a deep breath, his soul as cleansing as fresh sea air. He stared into the night sky, and then took one last look at him.  
  
Van is watching him. Again.  
  
Raven would kiss him, at any moment. He knew he would, those wide eyed dark onyx gaze is way too much. He started to move towards him. He wants to express himself, but he can't bring himself to say it---  
  
"Raven?" he spoke his name gently, as if it was natural for him.  
  
He froze.  
  
"Go to sleep," he whispered sleepily, and closed his eyes.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, back at the headquarters :]  
  
"Where the fuck is that Thomas?"  
  
"Infirmary."  
  
"What is it this time?"  
  
Moonbay rolled up her eyes as she turned around Irvine, she was working on something else and she is too busy to answer so many questions. But a silly smile curved her lips, just trying to recall what the lieutenant did to end up in the infirmary. "It's Fiona-related."  
  
"Oh, no wonder." Irvine replied tartly, "He has been getting into weirder accidents, just because of her."  
  
"And after you chase Van away, that's what it did."  
  
Irvine winced, "Did not! It was all a joke! How should I know Van would take a joke that seriously?"  
  
"He had disappeared in DAYS and everyone is worried and looking for him, You shouldn't have pick on his sexuality next time. I think."  
  
"Yeah? How come, is he hiding something?"  
  
"Umm---I think you better see Thomas in the infirmary." And with that, Moonbay turned around and went somewhere else, leaving Irvine hanging. She wasn't sure either about Van, and although she caught him sneaking outside the past few months in 'suspicious' night spots, she didn't say anything to anyone. "H-Hey, Moonbay!---FINE! I'm going." He shrugged, and went to the infirmary area.  
  
**  
  
"He got his tongue stuck inside the water bottle." The clinic doctor informed rather almost amusingly to Irvine, not noticing that the embarrassed blonde lieutenant has already emerged from the curtained room clutching a big ice pack over his face. "But I DO wonder why would someone be that thirsty, Mister Irvine."  
  
"Easy, he must have seen its Miss Fiona's drinking bottle."  
  
The female doctor made a silent 'Oh' and restrained the urge to burst out laughing. Almost everyone knows that Thomas is infatuated with the blonde zoidian, although they don't know that it would be THAT bad.  
  
"You must could have seen when Moon bay caught him hiding a handful of Fiona's missing ribbon bands---- he is placing it under his--"  
  
"Shaw puff, Irvun." /Translation: Shut up, Irvine/ The blonde cursed, his green gaze dark and the murder intent quotient brewing within them after hearing the embarrassing details Irvine is telling everyone. "Thel hwur tha I wul keel hu!" /Translation: Tell her that, I will kill you!/  
  
Irvine shot him a glare, "Yeah, right. Like you would do. Let's keep going shall we?"  
  
"Iruvn?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Since Thomas can't speak properly well, he gestured with his hand, as if to request on something before they go. Irvine crossed his arms, as the blonde make gestures and pointing signs. "Three words, one syllable---" he muttered, and Thomas nodded, and then raised a couple of fingers. "One syllable each three words---hmm," the lieutenant made more hand gestures, until Irvine just gave up.  
  
"Stop this foolish charade and just get to the point!"  
  
Thomas shook his head exhaustedly, and went back to the room, getting himself a pen and paper, and wrote "I'm asking for pen and paper" He earned a whoop on the head from Irvine, and the much muscular youth dragged the lieutenant by the collar and went into the headquarters, to the private sector of the Imperial army colonel, Col. Karl Scubaltz who is impatiently waiting inside.  
  
"What took the both of you so long?" the impatient colonel muttered, his tall figure rigid and stiff, his eyes displeased and commanding. Both made their salutes,  
  
"I didn't hear you," Karl muttered at his younger brother, very tired of reminding of his formalities.  
  
"He can't talk for now, colonel sir. Got his tongue-tied in an embarrassing situation." Irvine said, with a sly smile as he eyed Thomas, who returned him a sharp glare. The colonel glanced at his brother, then shrugged and turned away. "I think I don't want to hear that, but I have some news for you two." Karl placed his gloved hands together as he took his seat, eyeing both men, "I had been doing some monitoring myself secretly these past few days, Flyheight seem to have-----"  
  
Words formed out of Karl's mouth, but the two seem not to comprehend what he just said.  
  
"No way, that's impossible!"  
  
*****  
  
It was already early morning,  
  
Van woke up ahead than Raven, and changed into much relaxed clothes. In his civilian clothing, he is less bound to be recognized by anyone else within the area. He was surprised to hear that Raven was snoring loudly; his body sprawled atop the messy ground with only a pillow for his comfort. Then he heard a low grumble and felt a heavy forceful nudge by his shoulder. It was shadow.  
  
"Hey there, fella." He attempted to stroke the dark organoid's head, but Shadow made a low growl and nudged him harder. It was obvious he is still displeased and jealous over his master's decision to be with Van. It wasn't just like him. "I'm going to look for something to eat around here, you want to come?"  
  
Shadow answered by running off past him and hitting him hard with his tail.  
  
"Fine then, I'll go look for myself." He mumbled, standing up and letting out a small sigh. He looked around the nearby green woods or any area that possibly have a riverbed and/or edible fruits around them. There could be a small copse of gooseberry bushes somewhere, he thought. Those small bite size fruits that could come in handy to keep your sugar-level up even if you don't eat for a day. He spotted the bushes when he noticed shadow re- appeared in a certain direction and tried to follow him. A little distance away he found the gooseberries, then held out his tunic and began to pick them while he starts humming a tune. Within a few minutes, he had several handfuls of plumped berries on the loose end of his shirt.  
  
He stopped humming and glanced about to see Shadow has just re appeared few feet behind him. He tried to signal the dark organoid if he wants to taste them. The organoid grunted and veered away, obviously still NOT wanting to be with his master's 'friend'. He shrugged and popped a couple in his mouth and shuddered. They were as sour as unripe papayas.  
  
"Now what the heck will I do with the sour gooseberries?"  
  
Then without thinking, he proceeds to hum again his silly tune and lazily throws a handful of the gooseberries over his shoulder while he looked for anything edible ASIDE from gooseberries. He made a game of flinging the berries skyward and listening to them patters the ground and bushes behind him as he walked around deeper around the bushes and the trees. He looked at shadow, who is still suspiciously watching him in a distance and laughed, "Those berries ought to be good on something since they certainly aren't good for eating!"  
  
After a few more minutes he glanced down, just as shadow suddenly ran off towards the trees edging the riverbank as if to chase something away.  
  
"Shadow!" he called, "Come back here!" yeah right, like the dark organoid will listen to him, he thought. He tossed the last handful of berries and dusted off his shirt, then spun around.  
  
Raven stood there, already awake, looking quite rigid.  
  
Van stared at him for a second.  
  
He has gooseberries in his gray hair.  
  
He grinned  
  
He didn't.  
  
Laughter just bubbled up and he tried to stop, but couldn't. He had a plump gooseberry wedged silly in his ear. Raven shook his head and the gooseberries flew everywhere, and shadow ran back anxiously around him, sniffing the gooseberries that had fallen from him around his boots, thinking he was toying around. Now, Van is laughing out loud, Raven glared at him, but it did no good. The gooseberry is still stuck in his ear, making him look rather silly.  
  
He dropped his hand and took a breath, smiling. "Your face is as sour as those gooseberries." Then gave Raven a sincere look. "I'm sorry, truly. I didn't know you were there." He walked towards him and stopped, Raven stared at Van for a long moment. Van reached up and plucked the berry from his ear and held it up. "You missed one!"  
  
The gray-haired pilot was silent and Van cocked his head and watched him, trying to read his thoughts. It was then he saw the flowers. Clutched in his bare scarred hand was a small posy of marigolds, maidenhair fern, and bright buttercups. Raven stiffened and looked at the bouquet, he didn't know what possessed him to give Van a small bouquet of hand picked flowers and Van wondered what he was thinking. Raven looked strange---a hardened mercenary pilot standing before him, his rival, cold and fierce, until one noticed the flowers. It was like watching the devil pet a kitten. Certainly not a scene one would imagine.  
  
Very softly he asked, "Are they for me?"  
  
Raven looked as if he wanted to say something but could not speak. He seemed to be waging some kind of mental battle. He glanced up at the sunrise, now at its peak and muttered, "There is no time for this foolishness."  
  
Van's heart fell a little. He didn't think the fact he had picked flowers for him was foolish at all; it must be the best way he wanted to express himself to him, and he thought it was touching. Part of him wished he could put Raven at ease, yet he wasn't certain what he would say so he said nothing. He embarrassingly gave the flowers a wistful look.  
  
The other boy seemed to make a decision and he turned around, then stopped and turned back.  
  
"Here." Raven barked and shoved the flowers just a few inches from his face. Van took the posy and in a moment of sheer whimsy held Raven's hand and pulled him closer in a friendly hug. Raven froze for a moment, his cheeks mildly blushing. He heard Shadow's angry grunt of protest, but ignored the organoid and proceeds to bring his one free arm to hold Van closer to him. He stared at the posies on his other hand at the longest time, then with a very intense look he slowly lifted Van's chin to his face and mildly brush a soft kiss to the other boy's cheek. "Van---" Raven whispered, which was then followed shortly by a crackle of a vicious curse.  
  
Vicious curse?  
  
Stunned, Van snapped his head up, and then followed the angry stare. At the edge of the small woods, were a few zoids---a couple of them are red-horns, from the first panzer division of the imperial army. "Col. Schubaltz---" Raven mumbled angrily, turning to Van, giving the youth an accusing betrayed look.  
  
"Hey, I don't know anything about this!" Van protested, who was as equally surprised as he was. Raven assessed Van one more time and finally presumed he wasn't lying. With a move he even surprised himself; the gray-haired pilot wrapped his arms around Van and rolled to the ground when the red- horns opened fire. He quickly called for Shadow, and the dark organoid came running towards his aid.  
  
"Don't mobilize. NOT yet." He rasped to his dark organoid,  
  
Van gave the pilot a startled look, what will Raven do without his dark organoid? In a split second, he finds himself surprised as Shadow opened his chamber, and Raven shoved him in. "Take him away from here, shadow." He said, eyeing the organoid seriously, "Please."  
  
"R-Raven?!"  
  
The gray haired pilot gave him such a pained look that even words escaped Van's mouth, "We'll meet again, Flyheight---I promise, I'll be b--"  
  
Then came ammunition exploding atop their heads, Raven cursed angrily and proceeds to shove the other boy in and clamp shadow's chamber shut. What happened next, Van recalled foggily, is a low rumble and being rocketed away to god knows where, he heard a lot of ammunition fires and some droning noises so intense that he thought his head would ready to explode. What he came into consciousness, or what he think might be, he heard a lot of angry shouts and remembered hazily seeing a red flying zoid disappearing from red-horn's reach. It must have been Raven's geno breaker--- and shadow is catching up behind it. Shadow had already dropped him off.  
  
He finds out he was very much alive and he was laying down at grassy side of a slope, just several feet away from the attack where he wouldn't be easily seen, unless by someone piloting a zoid. He tried moving his badly shaken body,--- going to the direction of 1st panzer unit, hoping to signal them to stop. Staggering a few meters, he recognized that there are some back-up soldiers in their armored truck and units, all from the imperial quarters. A particular figure caught his eye, some guy in gray with deep brown hair. As he focused once more, the figure is arguing with the people who piloted the red-horns---behind him is the lightning saix.  
  
THERE could be only one lightning saix  
  
"Irvine!"  
  
The gray figure turned around momentarily away from the group of soldiers, he gazed curiously at the distance where the voice is coming.  
  
"Irvine! It's me! Stop the attack! Ceasefire! Ceasefire!!" Van called out, waving his arms frantically at the air. He stumbled to his knees and before he passed out again, his comrade had finally recognized him and ran quickly to his aid along with some group of soldiers. He recalled strong arms holding him, shaking him---, everyone and everything is like a swirling vertigo, calling out begging him not to pass out and stay awake.  
  
"Hold on Van, hold on---" are the last words that drifted to his head, coming from Irvine. He didn't know whether it was his fevered state or it was just a dream that he said-  
  
"Raven has nothing to do with this, let him go."  
  
-continued- 


	7. Broken Consorts

Part seven: Broken Consorts  
  
Note: Damn yearly technical problems in ffnet has gotten worse ----*mutters a curse* happens every year -.- Anyway "/"- at the beginning and the end of sentence. Means a trail of thought. Whee!! Another chapter up. -Ravenous  
  
  
  
"Raven has nothing to do with this? Let him go?"  
  
Van found himself staring straight to the older youth's face. It was nearly night fall, and he just woke up---he just slept in one of the cots inside Irvine's tent, and the rest of the soldiers have made camp. The day's event has come into him now, and the first thing that greeted him is Irvine's frowned reaction.  
  
"Take your time; you might have under gone some shock." Irvine mumbled, seeing he is not getting any answer except Van staring at him like he had grown an extra head.  
  
"I did recall a lot, thank you very much." He snapped, and the defiant tone caught the older boy into quite a surprise, "What's the big idea of attacking me anyway? I could have been killed you know."  
  
"Who said it was ONLY about you?" Irvine retorted, "You are with Raven right?"  
  
Van didn't answer for a moment, then looked firmly Irvine to the eye, "-and if I am?"  
  
"It sounds like you are trying to save him." Irvine replied, carefully removing his one magnifying eye patch. Doing so means he is dealing with serious business. The other boy suspected that it's not good news, Irvine is glaring down on him like he wants to smash him right there. "You just said it before you passed out and demand a ceasefire. 'Don't hurt him; he has nothing to do with this.' What shit is that Flyheight?"  
  
"It was nothing. He meant no harm way back there."  
  
"So he was with you then."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"For how long?"  
  
Van wanted to lie, but under a pressure like this he is a bad liar. "Few days,"  
  
"Why stay for him a few days when you can---"  
  
"Because it's none of your fuckin' business, Irvine! It's very complicated, you wouldn't understand!" Swearing indignantly, Van quickly sat up so his face is level on Irvine's and their eyes did battle. He is defending Raven, it is odd. And the older boy could not understand why. They stared to each other for the longest time; none of them breathe a single word. After few more minutes, it was Irvine who first to break the ice,  
  
"Here," he tossed an ice pack that almost hit the boy's face, "I think you still need to rest."  
  
Irvine went out the tent and the other youth made a long painful sigh. Van never intended to lash out to the other pilot that way, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. Too many things had happened during those past few days, and it's not easy to put them to words.  
  
What will he say? 'Hey Irvine, I accidentally met Raven in the cruise that I went to, and he seems pretty nice if you get to talk to him. Even if he destroyed several military fortresses, he seems to be sorry about it--- after all he is only human. Nah, he won't buy it.' Too stupid, the older youth will think he have gone mental. 'Maybe--- Irvine! Raven saved my life out there, I owed him big time.' Nope, not reasonable enough either.  
  
He was still clutching the melting ice pack that Irvine threw at him, still cocooned deeply in his thoughts. 'I know--- Irvine, Raven can be trusted for now, he didn't lay a finger or did anything while he was with me.' Then a mild blush crept to his cheeks, his grip at the ice pack tightened as he recalled the events that occurred between him and the gray haired pilot with the pale pallor. 'Didn't do anything while with me--- yeah right.'  
  
"What are you doing? It's melting!"  
  
Van was cut off from his reverie, and looked up blinking to Irvine, "What?"  
  
Irvine shot him a glare, folding his arms firmly to his chest. "You are sitting up with that expression on your face and I thought you are not feeling well."  
  
"I didn't say anything about not feeling well."  
  
Irvine made a weary shrug, and sat down at the stool near Van's cot. Without speaking a word, he brought one palm to the other boy's forehead and tried to feel his temperature. Van wasn't used to close physical contact with his comrade, and flinched a bit when Irvine placed the back of his hand alternately at both sides of his neck.  
  
"Irvine, I told you I'm fine!" he complained, and tried to move the annoying hand away. "I don't have a fever!"  
  
"I've guessed you might have one."  
  
"What makes you think so anyway?"  
  
"People say senseless things when they're feverish." Irvine replied dryly, "I just don't get it why you ARE trying to defend Raven. It seems whatever impact had threw you on the ground that day must have shaken your senses."  
  
He intended to avoid the subject matter, but he can't. Irvine was staring right at him waiting for an answer. There they go again.  
  
"Well?"  
  
Before he can answer, he was saved by a big bang. Literally. There came an explosion and another, simultaneously just outside where the small group had set camp. The ground shook upon impact, and soon enough, chaos starts to ensue. The small group of soldiers starts gathering in their army jeeps and tried to search the area frantically for the enemy, while two more re-piloted their red horns. Only those two red horns and the lighting saix are the only combatant zoids in that area.  
  
Irvine cursed, got up quickly and veered out the tent, "Now what the hell is that?"  
  
"Mister Irvine, it seems we are being attacked by a red zoid."  
  
"The genobreaker?!" He and Van both replied in surprise, Irvine glanced at the dark-haired pilot, finding proper words to ask him, "Do you know HOW the hell did that punk tracked the camp down?"  
  
"No!" he looked straight at him, "Are you accusing me, Irvine?"  
  
/I didn't say anything of accusing you---/  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go out there before this place burns down!" Irvine shouted, and runs toward his lighting saix. There is only room for one "You go out there while I find him, defend the camp--- whatever! Just don't go running away this time, okay?"  
  
"Of course not, why should I?" The words sound less audible as he spoke them. He was pretty sure it was the genobreaker attacking them, but he was wondering why Raven would try to destroy a small camp. There is nothing much important in the camp, and he seems pretty helpless there himself. There are no other combatant zoid left in the area, and it will be further useless, if he armed himself with a rifle and open fire at a zoid that was known to fly in extreme speed and burn down military fortress in a snap.  
  
/What the fuck would I do now? /  
  
Too confused what to do, he resorts to scouting around the area--hoping a clue will lead him into something. Van felt foolish as he went deeper into the dark grassy woods, thinking he is just trying to get himself away from the area and not doing anything to help out there.  
  
And then it came,  
  
He heard some twigs on the grounds snap and rustling of thick grass, before he knew it, a figure from the bushes have leapt out of nowhere and tackled him from behind down to the ground, with arms enveloping him into a squeeze. Van struggled mightily at the assailant's grasp, and attempted to draw his melee weapon he kept hidden in his trousers, so he can dodge the attacker to the stomach from behind.  
  
"You wouldn't want to do that if I were you," the familiar voice ordered softly, it's hand quickly grasping to where he was about to grab the melee weapon, and he shuddered when he felt a wet kiss being placed teasingly at the crook of his neck and the tongue trails lightly to his ear. It was then, glimpsing to his shoulder he recognized the bob of gray hair.  
  
"Raven!" the word came out more of a gasp than a shout of recognition, as Raven turned the smaller pilot around and gave him a deep passionate kiss. It lasted for several seconds, before Van tore away his mouth from his.  
  
"What's wrong?" Raven frowned, seeing the other pilot's face getting dark and disappointed. "Are you not happy to see me?"  
  
"Why should I? You are trying to destroy and burn the camp down!"  
  
"Who said I'm going to raze it to the fucking ground?" he replied hotly, "That's just my diversion; I'm doing it so I can get you!"  
  
Van paused and stared at the pallid face, there is a certain trembling on those last few words, and he can see the indigo eyes narrow in a certain emotional restraint. Raven cocked his head, and then looked away, trying to look impassive. "Yeah, you heard me right---" He whispered, "Didn't you remember before I threw you inside Shadow? I promise that I'll be back---to get you."  
  
He was touched somehow, at those words. "Raven?"  
  
"If you are asking for an apology, I'm not sorry for doing it."  
  
"No," he replied. "I appreciate the sentiment and all but---you don't have to cause all this chaos just to see me." He can't fault him either; IT must be the only way he knew. He gazed out to the camp, beginning to worry what will happen to Irvine and the others.  
  
Raven can however read his expression like an open book and approached the other boy, placing an arm over his shoulder. "Don't worry. Shadow got instructions not to kill or maim anyone. After all, like I said, it's just a diversion---even how tempting it might be." He continued, "Because if I do, I know you would eventually hate me."  
  
He placed another arm to Van's shoulder, holding the boy in a tight embrace, snuggling his pallid face to the back of the teen's exposed neck. Van tried to broke away with an uneasy laugh, "Raven, when did you become concerned of what I feel?"  
  
The arms pulled away, forcing once again to face him, his indigo eyes now full of dead seriousness. "I think I cannot give reason enough for that."  
  
Van lifted an eyebrow, folding his arms to his chest. "Explain?"  
  
"When----" he muttered a curse, unable to meet that expectant wide onyx- like gaze. Raven felt naked confessing what he honestly feeling is right now, and secretly wished the ground might as well swallow him up that moment than Van hears him speak. "It's this feeling--- it isn't the reason that I will give to you that is important, but this feeling that I want you to feel."  
  
Too deep, he realized. Since the pilot just gave him a puzzled look. "What?"  
  
Raven shrugged with a lazy smile, and thanked the skies that Van wasn't that perceptive to what he just confessed. He leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and tucked a finger underneath his small chin, leveling his indigo eyes, drowning to that wide dark pools---  
  
"I'm acting like a fool because of you, Flyheight."  
  
*****  
  
Van re-surfaced very much later back at the camp, and as Raven promised, everything seems spared and the geno breaker has disappeared as fast as it have came. Although for now things look like a mess, it is good that no one was hurt during the attack. Everyone was tired for having stayed all night that they all took a rest immediately. It was only him and Irvine who are awake early in the morning.  
  
"Except for the two red horns, I think they'll need a major total repair after getting crushed by the pinchers." Irvine replied, as the younger pilot asked him for casualties. "Its strange, it seems to ignore all my attacks. As if it's only intention is to lure those red horns and just intimidate the rest of us like hell. What does he wants from you anyway?"  
  
"Don't ask me." Van rubbed his sore neck, as he changed into his uniform inside the tent that he and Irvine shared.  
  
"Oh yeah I forgot, you are just hiding by the woods. YOU don't know anything that has happened of course."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Is to!"  
  
Irvine paused and fixed a perplexed assessing look, as the younger pilot proceeds to zip up his uniform top. Van hates it when Irvine stares at him in longest time and WORSE if he is watching him dress up. Well he can take it as long as he doesn't call him "sugar bear".  
  
"Is that a hickey I am seeing on your neck?" Irvine blurted out.  
  
Van froze; he didn't know Irvine could be that perceptive. He nearly made out with Raven last night, he can't help it when the taller youth confessed in such sweet words and his actions definitely much sweeter that he succumb to the charm. He seemed to really care for him, because even in the heat of passion, Raven does not want to take Van down the muddy grassed ground after several passionate kisses here and there---and some bites. He tried to act casually, "Heck, how would you know it is hickey anyway?" Van forced a silly grin, "You've got one before?"  
  
"Well, I have my first---hey! I'm asking YOU! You answer my question!"  
  
Van returned him a bored look, "It's not a hickey, and it's a bug bite I got from the woods, okay?"  
  
Irvine has never really trusted Van's instincts the very moment the younger pilot woke up in the camp. He pressed forward and inspected closely Van's neck, stopping him from getting fully dressing up in his uniform. He is starting to get embarrassed, "Hey, knock it off! Why won't you believe me?"  
  
"It seems to be quite big for a bug bite, how come you got some bruises along with it?"  
  
"Because IT is a really BIG nasty bug bite!" he protested, swiping Irvine's hands off. "Besides, where would you get an idea that I'm going to get a hickey, right in the middle of the woods while the camp was being attacked last night?"  
  
Irvine blinked, Van supposedly is right, Where would he get a silly idea anyway? A voice in his head seems to tell it has something to do with Raven- --but why would Raven hit on Van is the craziest presumption he could think of. But still, he sensed there is a strange bond that developed between two rivals and he is determined to find that out.  
  
Or he'll be damned if Col. Schubaltz didn't order so.  
  
-Continued-  
  
Time for a review! *claps and points at review stats* 


	8. Betrayal

Part eight: Betrayal  
  
Author whines: eaggghhh!!! Gomen ne! I know, it's been the long time since the last update. I got entangled with my Karl x Thomas 'cruel intentions' angst AU fic O_O and I got entangled in a zoid RPG and I got a Karl x Thomas bondage fan art in my pc---huh, oh the bloody hell, here is chapter eight!  
  
-RaVen0us  
  
Irvine made some points clear to Van, who now dons the (blah) lieutenant uniform. He carefully explains about the 'orders' given to him personally by Col. Schubaltz. After the boy's disappearance in several days, a search team was dispatched and there have been sightings of him being seen around with Raven and the geno breaker. Suspecting he must have been held hostage, Irvine and Thomas were dispatched to assist a rescue force after getting the latest coordinates. The older boy wished that the oddment occurring to Van right now is not a classic case of Stockholm syndrome.  
  
"Where is Thomas?" Van questioned, after Irvine explained his part. "You said he is supposed to be with you guys."  
  
"He had a little technical problem; he will catch up with us eventually." Irvine spoke as he climbed in his saix's cockpit. Poor Thomas, his tongue haven't healed well and have a hard time controlling Beek, as it end up messing coordinates and commands every time he was forced to talk. Irvine pressed that he stay in one place for awhile then gets some proper rest and he'll just send the coordinates to him as soon as he finds Van.  
  
"So what are the colonel's orders?"  
  
If this boy is not a lieutenant and not a member of a guardian force team he could whoop him hard right now and shake him hard till his head snap. "Are you mental? I just told you few minutes ago!"  
  
"No, I mean for me. Or else why did you make me wear back my uniform?"  
  
Irvine nearly forgot, he said something in effect that the colonel wants Van to do something just in any case, "Just to scout the nearby area and possible hot spots Raven would have gotten himself into. Everyone is pretty suspicious of whatever he has been doing these past few weeks." Then he glanced down, descending step by step from his saix after sending the coordinates to Di Bison. "But with the red horns in pretty bad shape, I don't know how you can go around and manage. Two people are not fit enough in my saix for patrolling either."  
  
"I can manage," Van replied, "We are just scouting any possible areas where Raven would strike right?"  
  
"You make it sound easy," Irvine frowned, "Remember that we don't have any better shaped combatant zoids around. How can you be cool and not worry Raven would not strike back?"  
  
"Because I know he wouldn't" The younger pilot said with a finality, slowly easing a piece of paper secretly to his back pocket. Raven gave it to him before he left; in it was the address of the place he would be staying for a few weeks time.  
  
*****  
  
By the time a week had rolled around, the two have settled quite nicely near camp. Although Irvine had no longer brought up the 'sugar bear' incident ever again, or tries to act overly suspicious, he seems very pleased that Van seems to have forgotten all about it. But what confuses him is that they could have lead the camp any time they wanted and report for duty afterward scouting the whole parameter of the colony. Van insisted he had some 'personal business' to attend and that they will eventually report 'sooner time around'.  
  
"Well I hope your 'sooner time around' will be fine with you if the military bases back there are already burned to the ground." Irvine once remarked sarcastically, as he grimaces at one of Flyheight's 'afternoon patrols'. "Shit, Flyheight! You're so unpredictable!"  
  
For what Irvine don't know the young pilot and the gray-haired mercenary have been secretly meeting each other almost every late afternoon by an inn near the town. Since it was potentially dangerous for them to be seen together, Van and Raven hadn't much more than at least several minutes with each other alone since the first day of the week, and it was beginning to show. In one of those moments, just before Van had to leave Raven's room for the evening to report on the camp, Raven pinned the other teen up against the door and kissed him fiercely.  
  
Both boys were panting so hard when the kiss broke, and Van wrapped his arms around his lover's torso. "Damn, it's too hard to meet around in this place. At least in the ship, we had our own 'sleepovers'!"  
  
"You're feeling it too, huh?" Raven grinned sympathetically, and rubbed his groin against Van's. The friction between their erections was almost painful, and they both moaned, the brunette pressed his form willingly, welcoming the delicious heat escalating from their down area towards their own anticipating teenage bodies. Raven responded by reaching up, and tangling his fingers to Van's pony-tailed deep ebony black hair. Curling his index finger around the elastic holding it back, he tugged sharply, snapping the band. The other pilot growled at him as the tawny black tresses cascaded around his neck.  
  
"Will you stop DOING that?" Van whined, "I've got a limited supply of that things, and I don't know where I can get more now! And you know I hate having hair in my face!"  
  
"Then why do you keep it that way then?" Raven asked, teasing. "It makes you look like a---"  
  
"DON'T say it!" He howled, slapping his hand over the other pilot's mouth. "It does not make me look like a girl! Besides, I like they way it looks."  
  
"So do I, Van." Raven's voice was muffled by Van's hand, and his lips caressed his palm with the words. The boy shivered, and then shuddered as Raven's tongue swept out to taste. "That's why I keep breaking your elastic- --it looks damn sexy down."  
  
The gray haired pilot knew that kissing Van's palms is his weak spot; he did the same thing way back at their first night together in the cruise. That was a memorable one indeed; he was knocked solid to the jaw afterwards. Of course not now, "Uhhh---is that door locked?" Van murmured, his free hand teasing along Raven's pale neck.  
  
"Locks when you shut it," Raven replied, indigo eyes shining with lust. "Now shut up and kiss me, you bastard. Let's christen my room, eh?"  
  
"You are such an ass."  
  
And with that, Van removed his hand and leaned over, more than happy to oblige.  
  
*****  
  
"If you---mmm, don't stop---; if you keep that up---ahhh! I'll never make it back to the---ooh, camp in time." Van muttered, nipping sharply at Raven's ear. Raven grunted something incomprehensible in reply, and thrust against Van again. The brunette rocked back into the motion, setting up a rhythm that drove them both crazy, even through their outfits. Their hands wandered over one another's bodies, and lips met in a passionate kiss.  
  
Van broke away with a desperate look at the clock, "I gotta go, Raven! I'll be in shit if Irvine finds out I'm staying out too long."  
  
The taller boy made a frustrated noise, but made no move to release his rival. "I don't want you to go!" he was surprised saying it himself; "I need you, Van!"  
  
The brunette gave him a wide grin. "Ah, you just need a warm body. You are nothing but a bunch of hormones, you know that?" He ducked Raven's wild punch and ducked out his arms as well, to press against him from behind. Now he was the one pinning the other pilot to the door, his erection planted firmly in the soft part of Raven's ass. "Meet me in the nearby bar in town tomorrow morning," he murmured, while Raven moaned at the pressure. "The place opens by 5:30, but nobody else will be up that early."  
  
"You'll never wake up that early," Raven commented, but he reluctantly opened the door to let Van out of the room.  
  
Van tossed him a wink, "I'll find a way. On the bar, 5:30. Don't miss it if you want it."  
  
"Not for the world, Van. Not for the world---" Raven gave him one last heated glance before he closed the door.  
  
*****  
  
The pilot thanked his lucky stars that the camp is almost half-empty and dark, with some of the soldiers left are either busy playing cards or off-patrol. His tight uniform did little to conceal his raging erection, and he could only hope Irvine would be distracted as usual when he got back to the tent.  
  
No such luck. The older boy was indeed absorbed tinkering with some parts he would be customizing for his lightning saix, but he glanced up as his comrade came in the big tent. An amused glint was evident in his un- patched eye, though nothing showed on his face, as he took in the younger pilot's condition. Thankfully, he said nothing, only tossing him a wry grin before going back to fixing some parts.  
  
Van debated running to the bathroom to change, but decided he didn't have enough time. Anyway, Irvine wasn't shy about changing in front of his comrade, so why should he be?  
  
'Cause you've got a raging hard on and the thought of Irvine changing in front of you isn't helping any!' He answered his own question, blushing as a vivid image of Irvine, naked except for a towel, bending over to dig through a duffel bag of good clothes, came to mind. Instead, he waited for the older boy to finish his business and turn off the lights before hastily changing and climbing into the cot.  
  
Irvine chuckled softly as Van settled in. "What're you laughing at?" the younger boy demanded, keeping his voice low.  
  
"At you, what else?" Irvine replied. Van gave him a hard glare, which was lost in the darkness of the room. "It's nothing to be ashamed you know. Happens to the best of us."  
  
"I'm glad you're so amused by all this," Van mumbled, 'humph'ing and turning on his side when Irvine laughed out right. Sleep was long in coming, as his body eagerly anticipated the morning activities.  
  
*****  
  
Early morning 5 am.  
  
"WHERE do you think you're going?"  
  
Van squeaked and nearly jumped out of his skin as the words splashed to him like ice water. He tried his best to sneak out of the camp, fully dressed and he was just few feet on the road of success when suddenly Irvine materialized from nowhere, his face frowning and then grabbing him by the collar.  
  
"Irvine!" he gagged, as the neck collar of his uniform starts to suffocate him. The older boy released him so, dropping Van to his knees and starts gasping for air.  
  
"That kind of trick don't easily work on me, I have been seeing you sneak out for various reasons ever since four years ago we met. I pretend not to know of course" he stated, watching the other boy pout. "What's your reason now?"  
  
Van cannot think of a good reason, "The bathroom is jammed, I have to pee."  
  
"Out there?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"All fully clothed in your uniform and all, just to pee? That's impressive Van Flyheight."  
  
It was a losing battle, and if not working on the broken zoids, Irvine's intuitiveness and observation is worse than a military interrogation. He is worse than a doting mother, checking out every time he has to leave and go back to camp, grilling him with questions, assessing him in personal details. He wondered if it's also part of Col. Schubaltz plan, but why would the colonel not trust an ally? Very confusing----  
  
"FINE! You got me, so what now?"  
  
"Just show me where you're about to go, that you have to sneak out this early morning."  
  
Van paused for awhile, worried how Irvine react at the sight of Raven, and vice-versa. He got to think fast. /I have to meet Raven in a local bar--- and Irvine will find out sooner or later also---/  
  
"I'm going to meet someone in the local bar." He murmured softly,  
  
"Can't this wait for a later time? Why so early?" Irvine assessed him with his good un-patched gray gaze.  
  
Van bit his lip, "Because he didn't have much time, okay? I'm eighteen now, you don't have to act like I'm some kid you know from four years ago, I know what I'm doing!"  
  
Irvine sighed, and waved both palms lazily, "Alright, alright! You proved your point! But you can at least show me who ever this 'important person' was."  
  
He gave him an uneasy look, "Well, if you insist---"  
  
"I DO insist Van, ever since the day you woke up in this camp, it seems like I don't know you anymore."  
  
*****  
  
Raven drank the fifth mug of hot steaming black coffee to his lips. It is still hot, and it scalds, but his mind is so far away that it left his sensation numb temporarily. /What's taking Van so long? It's not so hard to sneak in this TIME of the day."/  
  
He heard a low grunt over his shoulder, "If you know what's good for you. Just stay there." He told shadow. "I can't risk it if my cover gets blown again you know." The dark organoid made a low metallic 'humph' and turned his back to the alley. Van is supposed to meet him there outside by the corner near the tavern, but he was almost 30 minutes late. Fucking too late, and with that he threw his mug to the wall.  
  
"Raven!"  
  
Soon enough, Van surfaced, clean and fresh in his lieutenant colors and panting heavily as if he had ran a whole mile. All the anger in Raven's blood instantly drained on seeing the sight of his koibito, and as soon as Van leveled his face to his, he stole a deep intense kiss.  
  
"Raven, I got to talk to you." Van said afterwards, "Irvine is with me, he is the bar---that's why I'm late." He can see the sudden silent rage in those indigo eyes.  
  
"WHY is he with you?" he hissed,  
  
"He has been suspicious for nearly a week now, Raven. It's not that damned easy trying to sneak off the camp every day, he will get to know it sooner or later!"  
  
"You got caught sneaking out, eh?"  
  
Van nodded,  
  
Raven made a deep sigh and faced the wall, he stared at it the longest time and then pounded both his fist and along his head on it. His breathing short and shallow, he respected Van so much he can't bear to hit him. "You wouldn't know the risk, do you?"  
  
"Of course I know! But Irvine is also my friend---it would be like betraying him if I don't tell him anything."  
  
"Tell him what, that we are--"  
  
"Hey, I won't tell him THAT." The brunette blushed vividly, "Just tell him that---err, umm---damn! I don't even know how to put it!"  
  
Raven sighed, "Why don't you go ahead? I'll try to think of a way." Van gave him a worried look, "Don't look at me like that---I handled more shitty officers interrogating me, Irvine would be no problem."  
  
His onyx gaze gave him one concerned look, that Raven is tempted to move his face near and kiss him at the very moment.  
  
"Whatever you do Raven, don't hurt him---okay?"  
  
*****  
  
"There you are."  
  
Irvine was waiting impatiently in the bar, Van was surprised that he is drinking liquor so early in the morning. "What took you so long? Talked to that friend of yours?"  
  
"No," he lied, "I'm just taking a breath of fresh air"  
  
"Sure you do," he sardonically replied, "and I'm a fucking Sunday school teacher."  
  
Van frowned, his face dark. He snagged the tankard of liquor from his comrade. "You don't trust me, do you?"  
  
"You are a bad liar, Van." He replied, snagging the mug back from Van's grip and then removing his eye-magnifier patch. Two very intensely gray eyes are now prying to the brunette, as if they are going to burn holes through him. "Tell me, what happened between you and Raven?"  
  
Irvine is right, he is a bad liar. He might have looked edgy and restless about the current situation as he went in the tavern. When Raven said he will proceed to show up in any case, he is as nervous as hell on what Irvine's reaction would be. He heard the question, but he is too cocooned in his thoughts to think of a decent answer.  
  
Seeing he is not getting any reaction from the boy, Irvine pointed out, "Nice coffee huh?"  
  
"Yes, it's also pretty mild, the mocha java is---"  
  
"You ordered black," he cuts off, nodding towards the cup. Van looked down, his coffee is indeed black. "Now back to what I am saying---"  
  
"I accidentally met Raven when I ran away." He quickly answered, knowing it is what Irvine wants. "We just talked, and settle a few scores---and I decided to go back, and he happens to be going the same path, nothing to it!"  
  
Irvine is no psychiatrist, but he can tell from their conversation that Van is hiding something. SOMETHING must have happened when he went missing that whole week, and like he said to the boy before, it is like he didn't him any more. All the calm questions he asked are answered back in a defensive and hesitant manner. Van took a big gulp of his steaming black coffee, and he never orders black---  
  
"So what's he up to?"  
  
"The usual---"  
  
"Then why don't you stop him?" Irvine knows that the 'usual' is a simple reference that Raven will be back doing his task, which involves, well--- razing military fortresses to the ground.  
  
"It's not that simple Irvine," he sighed. "The man is a walking incognito; you can't predict what he'll do next. You'll just don't know what to do once you meet him face to face."  
  
"You know what I'll do?" Irvine said, looking firmly at his fellow comrade straight to the eye. "I'll slowly strangle his pale little neck, look at him straight to the eyes then plunge my hand through his chest so I can rip off his still beating heart. Then I'll shove it to his face so he can clearly see how black it is."  
  
Van suddenly coughed, spilling some of the contents of the coffee, "What? Don't tell me I'm wrong. There is no way to reason with that punk, Van. You have him at your grasp, and he is dangerous. Better that you kill him than someone else does."  
  
The brunette wiped his mouth furiously, "Raven---" he gasped the name, "Raven is not that kind of person you think he is! I---"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I know him enough to believe reason still works for him!"  
  
Irvine's eyes widened, "AND when did you think that it's possible to reason with such son of a bitch? Schubaltz said that fucking punk is so twisted he might even have cloven feet and kill women and children. "  
  
"Thomas?"  
  
"No, the Colonel."  
  
"What? Why would the colonel say such a thing?"  
  
Irvine slapped his forehead with a heel of his palm. Van is starting to sound like he have lost half-of his common sense, the truth is, Flyheight knew better than the rest of them that reason won't get Raven out of there hair. It will take a lot of ammo, a lot of badly destroyed military bases and severely malfunctioning zoids BEFORE one could reason with that punk. SO why would the young lieutenant suggest the idea of negotiation?!  
  
"Gee, I don't know. What do you think?" Irvine replied sarcastically, "All I know is that, I and Thomas are requested by the Colonel himself, to be back at the headquarters as soon as possible, or he would be forced to take it out on you."  
  
He can see the deliberate shock in his comrade's face, and he cursed silently "-shouldn't have said that."  
  
"So it is more than 'rescuing' me isn't it?"  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"Why? Don't they trust me? I can pretty much take care of myself---alright, it's my FAULT that I ran away." He said, very disappointed and surprised at the same time, that the colonel is being suspicious of him. "BUT if this has something to do with Raven, I assure you---I am not turning SIDES, if that what everyone is thinking."  
  
"I'm sorry Van, I'm just following orders. It's either you come back to us or not, that's it." Irvine said exhaustedly. "Now tell me, who is this friend of yours-is he not coming?"  
  
"Van!" came a sudden voice, as if to answer Irvine's question. The older boy starts to look fierce as he spotted the familiar bob of gray hair calling out his comrade's name; he hoped it's just a mistake. But then, he saw a black organoid following closely at heel.  
  
It was Irvine who first stood up, he could see the distress and confusion written at Van's face, which then turned to look around. Raven quickly recognized him, and strode quickly to their area.  
  
"You son of a bitch!!" Irvine hissed, glancing heatedly to the younger boy. He would like to punch him right now. "You told me YOU had nothing to do with Raven!"  
  
"Irvine!" Van gasped, then grabbing the older boy by the arm, "It is not what you think it is! Just stay!"  
  
"Oh sure alright, it's as obvious as the nose on your face! Now, let off me!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Van gave his comrade one hard glare, silently pleading him to listen to him and stay. He didn't let go of Irvine's muscled arm, even if he was scared to death by the look of him. Irvine's fists are tightly clenched and it looks like his jaw would pop. But he certainly won't have Irvine coming with the wrong presumption until he has explained his side.  
  
Raven was already in front of their table by the time Van managed to struggle Irvine down.  
  
"Irvine." Raven said tersely, frowning and nodding lightly, as if he was forced to greet the older boy. And then he turned to Van, who is still at loss of words what to say.  
  
"Van---"  
  
Irvine didn't know what definitely happened next, but he was SURE that the gray-haired youth with hardened mercenary edges suddenly brilliantly smiled like sunshine, approached Van, who already reluctantly stood up, and gave him a cordial hug. Irvine hoped Raven is trying to strangle the other boy, but he wasn't. He was hugging Van possessively, occasionally stealing sharp glances to the bigger much muscular boy. Irvine swore, the odd scene lasted for ten minutes. He shuddered when he noticed that the Raven's other hand wandered to grab Van's rear tight. Van quickly sprang off from his grasp, and Irvine noticed he is blushing vividly. He muttered something to Raven without looking in the eye, and when Irvine chanced to glance on Raven, there is a look in his mocking indigo eyes---  
  
A look one will perceived as an eagerness of a young lover.  
  
Irvine wants to puke.  
  
He dropped the tankard of beer from his grip, spilling the contents all over to his pants. But he remained unfazed as he watched the whole scene unfold. There is more to it than it meets the eye; the two seem have a silent mutual consent like two friends who haven't met for a long time---- or probably, even more than that.  
  
It's even probably too late.  
  
Irvine cannot take it any more; he stood up, left his tab and leaves the tavern without looking back. He can hear Van's upset voice trying to call him back, but he didn't heed it and walked hastily back to the camp. Then, he heard his communicator crackling---  
  
"Orders?" he spoke, as he brings the walkie-talkie to his face. "We will be leaving in 2300 hours. Try to reach Lt. Thomas Schubaltz, tell him, mission is aborted. Lt. Flyheight is not coming with us anymore. I repeat, HE is not coming with us anymore."  
  
He sighed, hearing the reluctant voice at the receiver.  
  
"Yes, he was found guiltily fraternizing with the enemy. How?"  
  
/I'm sorry Van, you gave me no choice/  
  
-continued!- 


	9. Never leave

Part nine: Never leave  
  
Note: Yes, another chapter peeps---and again I'm so SORRY about the delay- for almost-a month? Two? It's just---just ::bangs head:: I need inspiration, and I'm a crap to multi-parts like these. Two of my muses died on me and I went blank for a month, and I searched for other muses. I hate to discontinue this one either, and so is 'cruel intentions'. IT'S ONE THING I don't want to do. Well, At least before my zoid fandom goes pfft that is. More on that rant on my profile. Hey, it's also nearly 6 months- so my updates might slow up a bit. ::runs around with a 'best before' label on head::  
  
--just three or two more chapters, three or two more. AND ITS DONE!!! Mwahahaha!!  
  
RaVen0us  
  
----  
  
"What do you mean you're aborting the mission?!"  
  
An angry whirling sound coming from Beek followed Thomas' voice, the device was getting the coordinates of Flyheight's location when the lieutenant was informed by Irvine that the mission was aborted.  
  
"I have been with Van for a week, and I'm telling you---it's over. He lost it."  
  
"What do you mean he lost it?! There is no way Va---"  
  
The face in the comlink darkened. "I think it's about time to believe what your brother said is true." Irvine continued, "Van is fraternizing with the enemy. I don't know how it happened but I saw it with my own eyes. You know the option when that happens."  
  
"We have to arrest him?"  
  
"I hate to say it, but yeah---but YOU have to do the arresting. I'm no officer to do that, I'm sent only for reinforcements."  
  
He stared at the monitor for the longest time, transfixed before he spoke. "No, Irvine. I CANT arrest him. It's just not right. Tell me, where is your proof?"  
  
The darker boy frowned once again with discontentment, "You of all people must know better than me not to question a superior's order. That's what makes you a goddamn ranked imperial officer. So when the Colonel said arrest him if Van is guilty as presumed, then YOU arrest him!"  
  
Before Thomas could respond, Irvine signed off. He could tell from the tone of Irvine's voice that he is obviously upset about the current situation on Van THAT he refused to believe is true. He haven't heard the details yet, and more or less, updated on what have been going on this past week. Thanks to his 'injured' tongue, he was left with no choice but to stay and rest in a nearby colony. He swore he have gained some weight eating those ripe honeyed figs and white cheese, given to him by the sweet young lasses of the village. He couldn't sit properly in the cockpit without making an 'oomph' sound.  
  
He struggled off his Di Bison, still confused what to do next. Should he track Flyheight himself to see what Irvine said is true, or go back with Irvine and report to the quarters and have his republican counterpart arrested. Just as he was debating what to do, he bent over and grabbed a wrench to fix some part of his machine when he suddenly let out a gassy sound.  
  
And if isn't any worse, it stinks too. Embarrased, Thomas looked around if someone heard it, fortunately there was none---with an exception of an alley cat that screeched and already ran away.  
  
"Must be the cheese," he grumbled, and proceeds to fix his machine again. But as soon as he turned around, he gassed again--this time it was followed by a painful acidic knot in his stomach and a sickening watery sound.  
  
"Damn it, not diarrhea!" he whined, clutching his stomach as he struggled one free hand to search for any piece of paper he could use of. To make matters much complicated, he can't find any excess paper and his comlink signed on again. It was Irvine,  
  
"I will be arriving at your location shortly," the voice said with a sigh, as if sorry for the sudden emotional outburst few minutes ago. "There would be a lot of matters we should talk about concerning Flyheight---are you there?"  
  
Thomas struggled painfully to reach in back again to the cockpit, he bobbed his head slightly so Irvine can see him on the monitor. "Yes!" he squeaked. "But I---" his face lost all it's color and he quickly banged his head at the roof as he recoiled and ran. Irvine found himself staring at an empty monitor  
  
*****  
  
"Never mix figs with white cheese."  
  
Thomas found himself staring above at the taller much muscular youth in front of him, as he was sitting with his pants down in a small narrow cubicle just beside a local inn. Blushing vividly, he grabbed a tissue roll and threw it at Irvine. He can hear him chuckling but the taller boy still refused to move.  
  
"Stop that, you're embarrassing me!"  
  
"So what, we are two normal men---what is it to be embarrassed?"  
  
He frowned, "How on Zi did you track me here?"  
  
Irvine sniffed and covered his nose, "Christ, that stink---anyway, I heard the townspeople exclaiming that they saw an officer clumsily running around making strange noises. I noticed the scent and I've guessed it must be the local's figs and cheese. I trailed it right through here." He looked around, "And about Flyheight---"  
  
"Can't this wait OUTSIDE?!"  
  
"um-oh well, yeah." Irvine realized that it's the most stupid thing he had ever done that day. It must be the liquour that clouded his brain to haze that early morning, matched with Van sudden revelation that his common sense starts to wind down the drain. Embarrassed, he went out of the cubicle, much to the partial amusement and wonder by the local inn's tenants.  
  
"What the hell are you ALL looking at?!"  
  
Several minutes and tissue rolls later, Thomas emerged from the cubicle and spotted the less sober Irvine kicking a pebble by the road. There is a bit swaying when he walked towards his lightning saix.  
  
"Jesus, no wonder." Thomas sniffed, "You smell like alcohol. Have you been drinking early in the morning?"  
  
Irvine looked up, "Yeah, around five."  
  
It's the blonde's turn to gape. "WHAT are you doing drinking early in the morning?! Aren't you supposed to watch Flyheight?"  
  
The darker boy found a big rock beside his saix and sat on it, he eyed the blonde frowning, "I WAS watching Flyheight. The night before, I caught him going back to camp in a suspicious manner. He seemed restless and eager for something to happen. I caught him changing his clothes and sneaking outside the camp."  
  
"When did you know that he is acting suspicious?"  
  
Irvine sighed and narrated what happened the whole week, the imminent rescue of Van from the clutches of Raven, to the sudden attack of the geno breaker at the camp. He suspected that something have happened between the two because of the younger boy's hesitant and defensive answers to his simple questions regarding the gray-haired mercenary. When they set camp and doing patrols within the area, Van will disappear time to time from his curfew, which isn't very much like him.  
  
"So he missed a few curfews, big deal."  
  
"Not if he kept missing it for seven straight days," Irvine said grimly, "When I'm always with him in patrols he has this sulking expression and he hardly talks. NOW when he comes back, he wears that brightest smile you ever seen like nothing happened and I see why because of the bulge in his crotch."  
  
Irvine said it so calmly, but the last statement send Thomas blushing red like a tomato. It is something that DOES not make sense in the conversation. "WHAT?"  
  
"A hard-on." Irvine said out loud, lazily. "You don't know what a hard on is? It is something that you had when the conditioning unit broke down at the base last time and I caught you are staring at Fiona who is sweaty all over."  
  
The blonde eyed Irvine with murder in his eyes, "I---I DON'T have *that* around Miss Fiona! Can you go back to the topic? How did this imply to Flyheight?"  
  
"When I caught him sneaking this 4 AM in the morning, I demand to him what is going on. He said he is going to meet a friend at the local bar. I insist that I join his company. When we arrived, guess who that friend is."  
  
"Amuse me."  
  
"Raven. And nonetheless he is very happy to see Van."  
  
The lieutenant blanched, "You MUST be joking. They are enemies, rivals! You said before that it was he who held Van hostage, HOW can they be friends all of a sudden?"  
  
The darker boy shrugged, "Beats me. I guess during his 'capture' he fiddled with his brain or something. All I know is that I've seen Raven and there is no mistake about it, smiling like sunshine and hugging Van possessively, giving him a look like he was his---" his face grimaced, and shook his head. "---I guessed something did happen between them. And I know it's something unnatural and NOT nice and Van is under that spell. Who could reason with him now? It's better to call him traitor so he could get a good shake of his senses."  
  
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Thomas remarked sharply. "Van could never do such a thing."  
  
"Are you saying you don't believe me?" Irvine frowned, "If you don't want to, then go see for yourself. Besides I have given you his coordinates."  
  
"This is a team effort, Irvine. YOU have to be with me. Where are the red horns?"  
  
"That's another thing why I can't assist you. The geno breaker has beaten the red-horns bad, I have to report them immediately to base. I will tell the colonel to send back ups."  
  
*****  
  
"They've left you Van,"  
  
They went back to the camp, just to see a deserted campsite. The tents are left out hastily in a mess by their owners and no red-horns or lightning saix was in sight. Only a mildly smoking bonfire marked their early leave. Van walked grimly, silence filling the air. He knelt at the ground and with a short mutter, punched the ground with his left fist. The gray haired pilot observed him for awhile, hearing the brunette's shallow breathing coming in, as if he is going to make a decision he won't be able to bear to hear.  
  
"This is all a mistake, its my fault." Van muttered, before finally standing up. He turned around, heavy unrest shows in his features. From that moment, Raven realized its one of those rare moments he saw Van scared.  
  
"It's over now, I'm going home." He said tersely, passing to the gray- haired pilot's side, avoiding his errant violet gaze.  
  
"Alone?" He called out, furious. "Van!"  
  
Van made a grim chuckle, "You are a better shot than that, Raven. You know what I mean. It's over. We can't continue this relationship, people will think otherwise---they'd think."  
  
"To hell with what they think! If they are really your comrades, they won't think you as a traitor."  
  
"That's not it, it's because you are w---" He paused, Van never got to finish his sentence. Because you are with me---that what was he want to say. As long Raven is with him, he is not safe---who would, knowing that they are with the one of the dangerous mercenary in whole Zi. But after that fateful night encounter, he realized that like anybody else, Raven is also human-and like any human he makes mistakes. Mistakes that could be forgiven. And he can love him. But how can he love him if in return he have to endure the guilt of betraying his friend's trust? He can see the slow reeling disqust in the gray-haired pilot's face.  
  
"Raven, I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
  
"No, you are right Van. They are right. But there is one thing.."  
  
"What?" The other boy replied, "Say it quick----because I'm already leaving."  
  
Raven shook his head, and with a casual frown, surprised the other pilot by grabbing him at the arm. He dragged Van and forced him to walk in the opposite direction, until he managed to draw him near enough to his geno breaker. "Do you know in all these years, I only believed that all I can do is fight for myself?"  
  
"That's because, that's the only life you knew. I can't fault you with that!" Puzzled, Van doesn't see the point of conversation. Why Raven is lecturing now, he wondered.  
  
"Yes-that's because THAT's the only life I've known. I never believed for myself in reason, at a certain point, a man cannot keep on fighting because he wants to survive for himself. HE must have a reason why he wanted to fight, YOU are the reason Van. All these years."  
  
Van is silent. He can as well feel the scorching heat creeping to his scalp and behind his ears.  
  
Raven continued, "And I do not regret a single thing this happened between us. Whatever other people think, I will still bring you back to that military base. It's the least I could do for you. I told you that before- remember?"  
  
Yes, he remembers---but isn't Raven risking himself too much for his cause?  
  
As if knowing what's going on Van's head, Raven cupped one gloved palm to his chin. "Because in the long run, I learned to love you. You made me believe in myself Van---and I loved you"  
  
Van made a small cry before he threw himself into his arms.  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile~ ----  
  
"Is that confirmed?"  
  
"Yes, colonel sir, it is confirmed. I know it's unbelievable---but there is no other choice, correct?"  
  
Irvine felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world, there he was back in the base reporting to the colonel. He confirmed Van's actions---and afraid of what he really think it was--- didn't let the younger boy elaborate way back at the camp. Van 'fratenizing' with the enemy, its better off like that. He was too appalled that his suspicions in the other pilots 'preferences' are correct. But why in all people, Raven?  
  
Van has to be knocked to his senses, "I agree with you Mr. Irvine--- since the other soldiers also prove to be witnesses, and your observations are credible, I think its about time to move to the next plan. I'll send up back-ups immediately."  
  
Heavily, the darker youth sighed. "Agreed."  
  
Then all of a sudden the colonel made a sudden start. "Why is Lt. Thomas Schubaltz not with you? Is he aware of this change in plans for the mission?"  
  
Irvine lifted his gray gaze, and eventually stood up from his chair. "Yes sir, he does. Lt. Schubaltz is well-informed. He is just taking care of negotiations."  
  
Perplexed, the colonel leveled his green gaze to him. "With Flyheight? He is trying to persuade him?"  
  
"By all means, colonel, by all means."  
  
And hopefully, Thomas should and MUST convince him. It would be the other pilot's last chance---Irvine thought. It's up to Thomas now.  
  
*****  
  
"Let's call it night"  
  
They just came from the tavern, fresh from a night's meal. And with Shadow's tired grunt from waiting outside, Raven came out and waited for Van. Getting a whiff of fresh air, it is good that they settled things again---for now.  
  
By the time they'll get to the military fort, he'll be risking Van's reputation---brand the boy as a traitor, and those people will beg him one last time, making the brunette turn against him and make him go to jail instead  
  
NO, Van wouldn't do that---or would he? The price in his head is so high, that they might make a tempting offer---probably give the pilot a higher rank or even a medal. But if he really loved him, they will be both in jail. But hell, they would be at least together. They could have one cell both of them in it, and even in dire circumstances, still loving and caring within those boring four walls.  
  
"Argh, what a sick thought, Shadow!" he complained, obtaining a quizzical look from his organoid. "But what could I do? I didn't want him to be taken away---he does not deserve it, I deserved it! Even if there is any chance he'll get a pardon, I can't bear the thought of being separated to----"  
  
"Seperated from what, Raven?"  
  
The gray-haired pilot cursed up a storm and jumped a good 2 feet at Van's sudden voice. His reaction earned him a curious onyx-black gaze then a soft chuckle. Gods, seeing him at that momentarily bliss, Raven thought, he wished if given the chance, he can hold that moment forever.  
  
"It's nothing Van," he replied tersely, trying to sound close to normalcy as possible. But the black organoid objected with a low rumble. With a mental note that Van understood organoids as well as he does, he jabbed the black metallic reptile with his elbow. "If you want to get going, we can do it now. Those bushes cannot hide the geno breaker forever you know."  
  
Van followed his long quick strides. His mood changed now to a hint of seriousness, "Yes I know, eventually-this would be all over---"  
  
With a move that surprised Van, Raven reached out and gave his hand a tight re-assuring squeeze. "I won't let that happen---I promise."  
  
"Whatever it takes?"  
  
"Yeah," Then the other boy stopped walking, gazing past him with a look like he have seen a ghost. Raven wondered what will it be this time.  
  
"I think we spoke a rather too soon.."  
  
"Darn it--"  
  
"Raven, we can still escape--"  
  
But the gray-haired pilot is not the type who'll run away from a battle.  
  
"SHADOW!!"  
  
----  
  
Raven commanded his organoid, who smacked its tail in front of the red- horn's face and dodging it with his head until it fell to the ground. However, the red zoid had managed to stand and move from the narrow shoulder that separated that road from the ravine. A muffled grunt came from the metallic dark organoid.  
  
The red-horn swerved its tail  
  
And Van shouted----  
  
Raven froze and turned. Its tail has flung Shadow in a short distance away. He whipped around, a vile curse on his tongue, the red-horn is ready, and was charging in front of him. With a force of a catapult, it hit Raven square in the guts.  
  
The gray-haired boy doubled over and saw stars. A second later he tumbled backward and down the ravine. Jagged rocks jabbed his shoulders, his back, and his legs. He grunted. Broken and sharp roots scratched his face and neck. He curled into a tight ball to keep from catching a limb and breaking bones.  
  
Down he fell, faster and farther.  
  
Down, over more sharp granite edges and rough thorny bushes.  
  
Down until a mud pit stopped him. He laid there, mud oozing around him, the world spinning, and more stars than Van could count shooting past his vision. Raven didn't move for the longest time, he took one breath, then another, very slowly.  
  
"Raven?" Van was peering down from the edge of the road side.  
  
He opened his mouth.  
  
"Raven, answer me! Are you okay?"  
  
He tried to speak, a moan came out.  
  
"Raven? I'm coming down there to get you."  
  
"No!" he croaked.  
  
Too late. His muddy boots crept over the edge and an instant later Van was sliding down the hill on his backside, his spiky black hair flying out behind him.  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
Raven closed his eyes and mentally cursed.  
  
"Ah!"  
  
He heard the sound of tearing fabric.  
  
"Damn it!"  
  
Graveled rained down on him.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
Raven could hear Van crashing through the bushes and winced. Before he could take another breath, the other pilot hit him with a grunt. The gray- haired teen laid there, eyes closed, Van sprawled atop him. His chest and stomach were pressed against his and his legs lay between his own. Raven could feel the other' boy's heart beating faster and louder.  
  
Van's nose was against his chest and his hair fanned out, twigs and leaves tangled in it. Slowly, he raised his head and shook it. Leaves flew out and a twig slapped Raven on the chin. As the brunette shoved his own spiky hair out of his face, he stared down at him---and Raven felt a strange curl below when a firm hand reached out to cup his cheek.  
  
"Are you terribly wounded?" he asked,  
  
"Only my pride." He mumbled.  
  
"Does pride always matter to you? You are INSANE if you are going to face off that zoid on your own!" Van shifted his mass somehow, and he propped himself up with both elbows, allowing the other boy under him to get some air. Raven frowned, as he struggled underneath Van, it seems he liked it when he was the one pinned down there.  
  
"At least I got shadow!" he retorted, trying to struggle from Van's grip. "And what's with the concern anyway? You don't have your zoid or your orgnaoid right now. How can you protect yourself?"  
  
His onyx-black eye's narrowed, firmly planting Raven in the muddy ground. "That red-horn is not going after us if you DIDN'T charge it."  
  
Raven moved out one free gloved hand and rubbed it lightly over Van's head, and then kissing him by the nose, "Because, my sugar bear, I'm making sure nothing happens to you. We had a score to settle ourselves remember?" The gray-haired teen took the moment distraction from Van, and moved his other hand in between the boy's legs, grabbing his crotch tight then pumping it. Van gasped and momentarily went limp, loosening his grip over Raven's and it was the other boy's turn to shove him down the ground,  
  
"Raven, you sick bastard!"  
  
"Absolutely," he softly chuckled to see the crimson color tainting the brunette's cheeks. "No one could take me down that easily," and he stood up, letting the other boy sit up the ground. "At least in my height of passion I'll not take you down the mud. Now let's get going."  
  
Van pouted as he stood up, grabbing the other boy on the arm for support, they were covered in mud and briars and damp grass. Raven started back up the hill side, gripping onto the bushes as he tried to get a foot hold. He gave Van his hand. "Come," he told him. "I'll help you."  
  
He held his grip in his, but Raven slipped and so did his grip on Van's hand.  
  
Down they went again.  
  
Raven grabbed a bush and only fell to his knees. He heard a shout and looked behind him.  
  
Van hadn't been so lucky. He was lying face down in the thickest pool of mud in the ravine. Very slowly he pushed himself up. Two bright and dark onyx colored eyes stared at Raven from a brown face dripping in mud.  
  
He burst out laughing.  
  
Van sat back, resting his arms on his knees as Raven watched the mud drip from his hair, nose, everywhere.  
  
"You look like a pig." He told him honestly, not realizing that this was a stupid time for male honesty.  
  
It earned him a mud ball hit square in his face.  
  
"What the hell did you do that for?" Raven roared angrily and swiped at the mud. Van gave him a wide grin and threw another handful. Now he was laughing, laughing hard and flinging mud at him so quickly that Raven would never have thought he could move that fast.  
  
"Here!" he shouted. "Catch!" And he hit him square in the forehead.  
  
Raven sprang from the hillside and tackled him. They rolled together in the mud, Van is laughing while the taller boy tried to rub more mud in his face. A few minutes later they both lay on their backs in the mud, a truce called. The brunette is still laughing hard.  
  
"You didn't play fair, Raven! You're taller than I.."----he slapped a muddy hand on his chest and gave Raven a wide-eyed stare. "---a puny rival!"  
  
He snorted. "Puny. Ha! They could have used you in a siege, Van. They would have you in charge of the catapult!" And with that he grinned, then stood and eyed the hill side. A second later he swept Van into his arms and carried him through the ravine, heading for a place where the hillside wasn't so steep.  
  
"Raven! Put me down!!"  
  
"Stop squirming and let me carry your 'puny' self." Raven tossed him and grinned even more when Van let out a surprised shout. Finally, he wrapped his arms around his neck and laid his head on his shoulder.  
  
And Raven liked it so much that he carried him all the way up the hill---- the long way.  
  
-continued-I swear on my bloody @$$ I will!!- 


	10. End of a Journey

Part ten: An End of a journey  
  
Note: lemon! That's what it is ( and I have one in this chapter. This might be a tad bit long, because I saved the best for the second to the last part- --while inspiration in the fandom is still alive in my veins. Raven and Van pairing.  
  
----  
  
"This couldn't be happening."  
  
Irvine was right, he couldn't believe that their own comrade had given into- --no, not only his sexuality---but to Raven of all people. Thomas has followed the coordinates given to him, and followed the back up the colonel had sent. He was surprised that Irvine managed to persuade his brother to take the drastic step. After a short talk with the back-ups, he decided to observe and record everything closely in his DiBison-seeing how Van would react.  
  
The two didn't even bother why the red-horn disappeared afterwards. Thomas called them to retreat. The blonde lieutenant has seen everything in his view monitor that he recorded: Raven had fallen to the ravine---Van followed him---Van fell down over him. The two did something else that Thomas can't even comprehend. Afterwards, the two seem to fall into one strange mud fight, or so what Thomas perceived---before the gray-haired pilot carried Van uphill!  
  
Right now, camping with his brother's men and tightly holding a coffee mug with his sanity, the lieutenant debates what action to take next. There must be a reason why Van turned to like this, for it doesn't seem he would just collaborate with one of Zi's mercenary. Maybe love? Bah! Where that hogwash did came from? How could they be in love? Maybe Raven brainwashed him?  
  
Aimlessly, Thomas continued to walk farther and farther from the camp, as if searching the ground for answers. After a few minutes, he was already in a middle of a marsh, probably several miles away from where his DiBison have been. Cursing mentally for letting his thoughts get the better of him, the lieutenant turned around to go back to camp.  
  
"Got lost, Lieutenant? Can't recognize you without the bind on your head. Accidents always happen when you are around."  
  
The voice from nowhere nearly sends Thomas jumping off from his skin. Whirling around to know where it came from, he saw a smaller figure sitting roughly by a fallen tree bark. In dim lighting, he only spot the rough grayish hair, when the face looked up, he saw the all familiar red-mark.  
  
"Raven!"  
  
"What I am doing here? I noticed the DiBison from the trees when the red- horn attacked us. I followed you." He icily replied, knowing that Thomas is going to say that question. He lazily stood up and advanced in quick strides towards the blonde, knowing that he posed no threat to him. The jaw of the lieutenant tightened.  
  
"You bastard, where is Van! What have you done to him?"  
  
"He is with me, and he is going back."  
  
"Going back?"  
  
"Yes, he is going back to the force. I'm assisting him to go back there. So don't let your men do anything foolish or you and your brother are toast!"  
  
Thomas thought he might be missing a point, assisting Van? Why can't Van simply resist Raven and go with Irvine when he had the chance? Why would he let this gray-haired enemy escort him? Is he nuts?  
  
"He can go with us!" Thomas retorted, trying to find a melee weapon in his pockets. Just in case Raven would attack. He noticed the genobreaker is nowhere near him, and he is unarmed. Good.  
  
Raven paused for a moment. Yes, why can't he simply return Van to them? It would spare less trouble doing that, and the imperial army and the guardian force wouldn't be after his arse. But he felt something, a sense of possession, a sense of jealousy. He does not want Van to leave his side. If he let him go, it would be the end of everything to him.  
  
Of course he can't tell that to Thomas. He had to do something the old Raven would do. Be cocky, intimidate him. If it means sounding like a stab in the back, he will do it to protect Van.  
  
"He can't. He is under my control now. I can't believe how a little leak of information of his private life and a little seduction could bring him to what I wanted." He forced an evil smile. "I needed Flyheight so I can get the information that I need, you hear?"  
  
"Y-you sick son of a bitch! So it is true!" The lieutenant said indignantly. He is breathing heavily, furious---and confused.  
  
"What are you going to do Lieutenant? Tell big brother to bring more back ups to help you in your little assignment?" he taunted, "The genobreaker is no match for anything, I'll just blast them away."  
  
Long silence followed afterwards that hung like a heavy fog, one looking to each other with murder in their eyes. After few minutes, it was Thomas who gave up. He furiously walked away, but without looking back.  
  
"We are going to get you, Raven."  
  
----  
  
Raven felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world. He said what he doesn't want to say most---but probably could satisfy him several months ago. BUT things had changed. But it is the only way he knew so the imperial force could get off his hair. With that new found 'information', Thomas will be sending it along with some of the back-ups back to the military headquarters. It would buy him more uninterrupted time to be with Van, and to travel in serene bliss.  
  
The past nights they spent are sleeping in the inns right now, the few days that they slept by the woods earned him a great embarrassment to his rival who became his lover.  
  
He claims to know the stars very well, and at one night, by looking at the reddish sunset sky, he told Van it is not going to rain. Van argued with him for it telling him it WILL rain, betting he won't get any contact with casual loving for a day if it's not true. He persisted he was never wrong.  
  
It rained.  
  
Raven has spent most of the week after that with Van in the inns.  
  
He wandered aimlessly, they can't sleep in inns forever---well, heck, he want to save some cash. So they weren't staying in one now, he just remembered---tonight might be their last night together. He wants it to be memorable. He want it beneath the stars he missed so much, but the spiky brunette would prefer the indoors---with his fluffy pillows and bed. Van always complained that the beds in the inns are always hard, if he only could sleep one night outside and still be safe from falling bird's dung, briars and the unpredictable weather. Then he came across a local town market, he remembered he will meet Van there for a short dinner by the bar.  
  
Then an idea struck him.  
  
"I'm going to make it damn memorable."  
  
----  
  
They had left the town market hours later, filled with drink and fresh food and fun. They were riding back to the inn to get Van's belongings when another red horn bearing the flag of the imperial first panzer division unit appeared near the bend of the river.  
  
The zoid pilot in it never had a chance. Raven took one look at the red horn, roared an ungodly string of curses and commanded shadow to mobilize. Few minutes later when shadow fused with the geno breaker, it was already starting to charge up a particle beam. The red horn stopped cold, turned direction around, and ran away so fast it was almost as if it had never appeared.  
  
Raven was in a better mood after that.  
  
Soon the sun had slipped down behind the trees and the moon had risen in the dusky sky. The two went down the geno breaker, hid it and took a short walk. Raven turned away from the highway and over toward a grassy hillock.  
  
"I thought the inn was this way." Van said,  
  
"It is!"  
  
He turned to the gray-haired pilot and followed. "Then why are we traveling this way?"  
  
Raven nodded curtly, "There's a surprise." He said with an edge of challenge, and called shadow to his side. The dark organoid quickly clamped him in and spirited him further over the hillock.  
  
"Hey, no fair!" Van called out, and ran after him. If he hasn't fallen for Raven, he wouldn't have been more touched when he saw the tent. It was the largest and finest tent he had seen. Made with sturdy, warm colored fabric, it even had pennants waving from the sharp peaks at the top and corners. But when he pulled back the flaps and saw all the pillows---stack of pillows to replace the ones he had lost in the rain, he threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"Why are you laughing? I had thought to please you." Raven frowned, and the noticed there is a particular uneasiness in Van's short laughter.  
  
"Yes, yes you do. But Raven---" he paused, "WHERE did you buy all of these?"  
  
"Why should I buy it, when I can steal it?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Of course not, you idiot." Raven smiled smugly and rubbed the other pilot's spiky dark hair, his indigo eyes gazing warmly at him. "If I stole it, do you think I have time to set all this up by myself?" His look was so intent, that Van's breath was caught.  
  
"I'll leave you to sleep," he sighed, then pulled back the flap on the tent. Van stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Wait, where are you going to sleep?"  
  
"Outside.", he said gruffly.  
  
"This is a marsh land, Raven. There's a fog on the damp ground. You'll tarnish your getup."  
  
He gave Van a long look, and then rubbed his finger over his red-striped jaw and across his lips. He tucked a knuckle under his chin and said, "If I stay in here, I'll tarnish more than just my getup."  
  
The other boy closed his eyes, knowing that this decision was his. He opened them and looked at him. "This would be the last night, huh?"  
  
"I know," was all he said.  
  
"Tomorrow we might----"  
  
"Yes."  
  
The silence hung between them. Finally Raven started to leave.  
  
"Raven!"  
  
He turned back,  
  
"I think you shouldn't leave. I mean---you can stay with me. They'll understand." He muttered, "You are not wh--"  
  
A second later, Raven held the other boy upon his arms, his passionate mouth on his and then shoved him gently down to the pillows, kissing him deeply, lovingly---not wanting to stop. "Hush," he gasped, in between the feather of kisses, "you-don't have to say it. I know, and I love you." A silent mutual consent has passed between them, and slowly there clothes fall away, hands wandering, feeling and reveling at each naked skin bared, Raven's fantastic mouth consuming him---reaching him where he'll pleasure him the most, making the most of the moment while it still lasts. Then he stretched up to kiss Van again, pausing briefly to nibble at his chest. His mouth smelled of him, of earth and ocean, and the brunette felt the sweet darkness curl again in his belly. Surely Raven can't bring him to that place again. And yet he found himself responding to him, felt the wetness flowing in him as he slipped his tongue in and out his mouth, in the same sultry rhythm he had when he have knelt before between his legs awhile ago.  
  
Van felt a hardness brushing him, and felt Raven poised there where his mouth have been, as if he were seeking out once again his wetness. He wanted that that hardness within him, a full joining with him. He arched his hips up to meet him, so that his muscled stomach press against Raven's and the gray-haired pilot pushed against the entrance of him.  
  
"In Zi's name, you are so goddamned beautiful." He whispered, reaching down to stroke the hardened core of his pleasure again. "Everything about you, your look---your smell--- your taste." He made a choked sound as he pushed inside of him.  
  
Raven says strange things when he is on a verge of passion, "I am not---"  
  
"Yes, you are Van. You are----and everything as if you're--" 'almost pure' he seem to mumble those words incoherently, and inaudibly as he bent down and kissed him, his mouth gentle and warm, yet his hardness was still strong and insistent, beginning a slow, sweet rhythm inside him.  
  
Van curled his hips up against the other teen and let out a soft moan. "Not anymore", he managed, and then reached up to kiss him, and he could say nothing. They danced together, legs intertwined, as he moved inside him with slowness and sweetness he thought would surely drive him mad. Raven's body was hard against his---not just the sexual part of him, but his arms that pinned him gently beneath him, down the roundness of his buttocks. He shifted position, propping himself upright on his hands, and he felt a jolt of pleasure as he moved inside him.  
  
"Gods, Raven!" he gasped, "Yes, there!"  
  
The indigo eyes fluttered open and Raven laughed softly, his hips quickening slightly. "Like that?"  
  
As he quickened, he followed him, dancing the ancient dance---slowly getting lost to the uncharted bliss, opening the torrential waves of heated passion building inside them and enveloping them both in a smoldering whirl wind of a wild bacchanal trance. Raven's expression starts to look hard, he was biting his lip and he was grunting, gasping, as his breath comes in short and shallow intervals. In any minute now, he would be ready. He gazed down at Van, and noticed the submissive look on the expression as if he would pass out in any moment now. Raven neared his face down to him, gently licking the red stripe mark below his left jaw.  
  
"I want you with me, Van." Raven whispered, and reached a hand to toy him, stroking him intimately and briskly as moved inside him, faster, stronger. "---and to hell to what anyone thinks, I want you. I love you."  
  
"Raven---"  
  
There are tears in his eyes  
  
The tempo of Raven's body increased and Van could think of nothing but the feel of the other teen's hips thrusting against his. Clutching his shoulders, he could feel the moment Raven's body was gripped by a violence that seemed to possess him. With a moan of passion, he twisted his fingers in his dark black strands and cried out his name. The impact of it took Van over the edge with him. A moment later, his body shuddered and he felt his own body quicken in response.  
  
*****  
  
Several moments passed, with neither of them saying anything, with only their heavy panting breaths echoing to the walls of the tent. Raven wondered if he, like him, was afraid to speak, as if by doing so the closeness, the beauty of what they had just shared would be gone. And when their breath slowed and their naked slick bodies cooled, Van fluttered his onyx-dark eyes open that set's Raven's heart beat pounding like a hammer in his chest. In one silent motion, he then wrapped his long slender arms around the brunette and brought his lips to the ear.  
  
"Ebony. Sunset made your hair shine in deep ebony." He whispered,  
  
He smiled, "Does that it mean its going to rain?"  
  
Raven laughed softly, "That is WHY I purchased the tent." He rolled off Van, and leaned to his left side. Propping both arms to his head, he made a deep sigh as he gazed above the tent. "I like this tent, but I missed the stars---these past nights in the inns were lonely. I missed the sound of your breath and the stars above us."  
  
Silently, Van rose from their bed and grabbed his weapon. In a flash he cut a square flap in the top of the tent. Then, he went back and lie beside the taller boy, looking at the hole from the top and gazing to the starry night sky, how Raven would like to kiss and take him again---  
  
"There are your stars, Raven."  
  
*****  
  
They slept, curled together, for what felt like a long time. The sliver of light from the open flap of the tent above widened, spilling over their skin and across their faces like a yellow gold water color wash.  
  
It woke Van first, and he gave the gray-haired boy a nudge. "Hey sleepyhead, I think it's getting late."  
  
Raven's indigo eyes opened, and Van felt his heart break with sweetness. The taller boy smiled, "Hello, lover."  
  
The brunette's face grew gently warm with the attention he is getting and he smiled shyly at him. "It's getting late." He repeated, "Maybe there would be more people seeing the geno breaker if we don't leave now."  
  
Raven yawned and stretched, and Van privately noted that the sight of the firm, slender and pale body was quite aesthetically appealing. So much so, in fact, that he regretted the notion of leaving the tent. It would be much nicer to stay there, to take pleasure with him again and then sleep again. Then his stomach rumbled angrily, chasing any notion of staying in the tent from his mind. They would have to leave, to find their way back where he belong---and Raven, back to his world. And it would be back to the usual rules and logical order the mercenary have long lived by. Trying not TO think that everything would be back the way it was before, he quickly stood up and starts to get dressed.  
  
"We are going to leave now?" Raven said almost irritated, not wanting to let him go. "And you're dressing up in your uniform already?"  
  
Van didn't reply immediately, "Yeah, I have an image to keep to."  
  
"Sure you do, Lieutenant Flyheight," he mumbled, "--sure you do."  
  
Raven is starting to feel jealous.  
  
"I'm going to go outside now,"  
  
"Sure, I'll follow shortly."  
  
So that was love. It was what not he had expected. What they had done this time does not seem to be just a casual trade of pleasure that he was giving to him this past week. This time he found himself caring what he thought of him and hoping he was pleased by him---and it's just not about the sex, or how many times he made his knees weak with the passionate kisses he gave. Just as he realized that his feelings for Van have grown to something deeper and special, Raven noticed that he also have to face the harsh reality: Van will also eventually leave. They have their own different worlds, he belong to the side of justice and of the guardian force--- while he belonged to the dark world where he knew no rules, and chaos is just a part of daily routine, taking orders-destroying military fortresses and the like. Van would live a happy life even without him---with no regrets, and he, will succumb to insanity eventually with all the things in the past back to haunt him. He belongs in an isolated jail cell, and Van belonged to the outside world.  
  
Perhaps Raven could find a way to live in such a world, as well. The thought made him feel like a songbird choosing to go live in a cage. But how else would he be with Van? He was quite affirmative that he wanted very, very much to be with Van Flyheight.  
  
The young lieutenant was kneeling on the ground outside, looking distracted as he ran his hands appraisingly within their things and found a couple of bottles of liquor that Raven stacked along the journey. "It's all her fault you know," he said, looking up at Raven with a smile on his face. "They say- --in wine there is truth. And sometimes the truth could be wanton---yet beautiful."  
  
"She'll give your heart's desire or drive you mad with longing's fire." Raven replied, quoting a line in a poem. Van was astonished, his eyes widened as he looked at the taller boy, he never thought that Raven would be the romantic type. The gray-haired teen ignored the look and continued, observing him with the cool indigo eyes, "It's the truth isn't it? I think she's done both."  
  
Van felt a shiver of pleasure that crept down to his bones. "Was what we did madness, then?"  
  
"Absolutely," Raven said, sounding pleased. "You made me as mad as you are, Van Flyheight."  
  
"You are already mad to begin with when we first met." He replied, shaking his head.  
  
Raven didn't answer; he didn't know what's wrong with him. He should be retorting to his remark, but he felt unsure and nervous, afraid for the first time in his life that his happiness was about to slip from his fingers before he had truly known it. "Yes, I am definitely. But I'm much madder now, that's what I needed." He said, and then the brunette leaned forward to give him a quick and loud kiss on the cheek. "Hey, what did you do that for?" Raven roared, as the other boy stood up and ran.  
  
"Come on and prepare your things Raven! I'm going to make you mad!" he teased, but averted any long eye contact with him.  
  
Raven felt a stab in his throat, "Again?"  
  
"Once we are near there, I'm going to let you escape with your geno breaker. As soon as everybody else sees you, just pretend we are into a fight and that you hit me in the guts and I'll pretend to be unconscious. Then you make your escape, get everything you got and just go. You can slip past my friends if you take the route above from the east, but there will be some hard offensive---but since you are pretty good in dodging anything that comes along your way, I guess you'll be just fine. "  
  
Raven bit his pale lip. He wanted to cry out, to fall into Van's arms and beg him to take him with him. Even if he had to be put in jail, he didn't care. But there was no sense in behaving like an arrogant cynical hard case, if he conducted himself by shedding some of his sarcasm and his bad attitude, perhaps Van would see that he is capable of doing better things in life than destroying military bases and blasting zoids. To be a very dependable---friend. That was he wanted, wasn't it? To live by his side, and look after him---and share their secrets late into the night?  
  
He only knew he could not bear to lose him now that he had realized his feelings for him, "Yes, you are right." Raven said, forcing a reasonable tone.  
  
"Geez, Raven---are you alright? You don't regret what happened this whole week with me, do you?" He touched his cheek, and his voice was soft, a caress.  
  
Raven shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut to force back tears. "No, of course not. It was---it was nice knowing you."  
  
He smiled at that and gave him a mock punch on the shoulder, his face vibrant and alive. "That's what I was hoping you'd say. Look sharp then! We're heading home!"  
  
They were dressed and moderately respectable-looking within twenty minutes. Raven took out his geno breaker cautiously and he has to keep his voice low when he called for Shadow. He helped Van pack quickly and managed to come up with enough space to where it would be all kept in. When the last bag was crammed in, and with one re-filled water container slung over one shoulder, he called him out. "Right then, off we go."  
  
"Okay, let's hurry up. Remember what I told you!" Van exclaimed, and walk past the other boy's shoulder. He is smiling, and Raven sensed there is something wrong with it. The other boy is avoiding the conversation about the point where they have to part ways. /He is trying to act upbeat and positive---he doesn't want me to worry. He is just like me, he does not know what do from this point forward----/  
  
"Look Van, maybe I did not have to do all those horseshit." He muttered, "I can get away, scot-free without blasting a zoid or two---they wouldn't suspect you a thing or two you know."  
  
"Nah, it isn't your style Raven---" he said, pausing just in front of the cock pit, not turning around to face the other boy. His fists was clenched tight and he was glancing down the ground,  
  
The taller boy took a few steps closer, lifting a slender eyebrow, "My style isn't what?"  
  
"Fair---You always been not fair, right?" He tried to force a chuckle, closest to normalcy as possible. But he can't, and Raven noticed that the other boy's voice is trembling. "Van---"  
  
The young lieutenant fell to his knees and punched his right fist to the zoid, "----not fair! It's not fair!" he cried, shutting his eyes to restrain tears from falling down his cheeks. "It does not have to end like this, Raven!" he said once again, as he pound his fist once more against the solid red steel. If shadow wasn't accustomed to Van's presence or if Raven hasn't been there, he could have set the red zoid to roll and crush Van right now.  
  
However, the gray-haired pilot knows what the other boy feels, and come up to him, wrapping his long slender arms around him. "Hush---I know," he whispered against his ear, his own eyes in a verge of quiet tears. "I don't want this to end too---I can't---I just can't bring myself to leave you."  
  
Van turned around and burrowed his face at the taller boy's chest, and he continued to cry, and Raven still holding him tight, stroking his dark spiky hair as he himself tries to choke back tears by looking up in the sky. Murmuring consoling words that he could think of, soon enough he find himself crying with him too.  
  
He really realized now, that to really love someone he has to let it go. Van is right, what they did is madness. It is wonderful and painful at the same time. So painful, that he didn't know if he'll ever learn to feel the same madness again. He did not want to feel that pain---not anymore.  
  
After several minutes, cradling each other tight, Raven is the first to break away from the grip. "Stop being a wuss, it's getting late." He tried to say stiffly, but his hurting gaze said otherwise. "Get your gear moving and let's go."  
  
"Yes, I supposed you are right." The other boy agreed, and rubbed the tears away. He forced a reasonable smile, "There's no time to waste."  
  
*****  
  
They arrived near the military fort late that afternoon, and Raven's geno breaker did get some unwanted attention from passer bys and some soldiers--- dodging a couple of ammunition from some watch outs here and there until they ran out of fire. Raven and Van cared not, for they rode the same geno breaker, squeezed into one cock pit, stopping so very often to exchange kisses and lingering looks of love.  
  
Raven anticipated that the worst is just about to come, just several feet away they spotted the all familiar lighting saix and di bison in their offensive.  
  
"Beek must have detected the thermal presence of the zoid." Van said, "What are you going to do?"  
  
"NOT kill them." Raven replied, with a small sardonic smile. In a quick move to impress flyheight, he have both pinchers of his geno breaker crunching both zoids in no time. He was tempted to fire them away but he didn't, and threw them aside instead.  
  
"See, I told you." He said afterwards, feeling pleased with himself. "They are not so badly hurt as it looks, I'll do whatever it takes to bring you home and no one is going to stop me---"  
  
"Raven---"  
  
They arrived shortly by the military base, and it caused to sound some alarm, Raven cursed loudly as zoids and soldiers starts spilling from nowhere to get into positions.  
  
"Raven, I'll take it from here." Van said bravely, "Just do what I told you- ---they won't hurt you as long as they see me safe."  
  
"No." he said, his voice firm and set. "I'm not going to leave you, Van."  
  
"Don't be stubborn!" the other boy protested, his voice full of anger and worry. "They will do what it takes to get you----you might even get yourself killed!"  
  
Raven wanted to say, 'so be it.'  
  
"You said it yourself---they won't hurt me as long as they see you safe." He said, looking at Van---his gaze slowly softened, "I want to see you safe- --even for the last time."  
  
*****  
  
"Colonel, Sir! The geno breaker is not attacking!"  
  
Col. Schubaltz already knows why, "Yes it won't. Have all the troops in stand by for my orders."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
/Flyheight is with him, I know it. /  
  
"But---" the officer protested, "The Di bison and the lighting saix are knocked out by that zoid, it could be very dangerous and we don't know what it'll destroy next!"  
  
"AND I said, have all troops to stand by for my orders!" he barked, "Just make sure that Irvine and Lt. Schubaltz are safe---"  
  
"Y-yes sir!"  
  
He wasn't surprised what happened next, one of the soldiers was astonished to find Raven slowly dismounting from his cockpit---and that the missing Lieutenant is with him.  
  
"Sir! Lt. Van Flyheight is with him! I think he is being held hostage!"  
  
/ 'Collaborate' is a much appropriate term. / He can't forget the information his brother sent him to confirm his suspicion. It even involved an odd situation when Thomas even recorded Van and Raven happily tackling in the mud. He wondered if they have 'collaborated' in a different odd new level----  
  
With a curse he shook the errant thoughts from his head, probably week long duration with Raven might have inflict Van with a Stockholm syndrome. / A common case of soldiers' captive in war./  
  
"Men, hold your positions." He ordered, "I'm going out."  
  
*****  
  
Van's assumption was correct, everyone holds their offenses as Raven slowly dismounted from the geno breaker and helped him down, even pausing to hold him a moment longer than necessary. He truly does not want to let him go.  
  
"You can cry now you know." He tried to joke to him, but Raven's indigo eyes narrowed immensely instead, frowning.  
  
"I won't cry." He said tersely, "I would prefer fainting instead."  
  
Van laughed.  
  
The big metal fortress' gate's swung open and a bevy of red-horns bearing the imperial army's insignia and the flag of the 1st panzer unit with an iron Kong MK II trotted down the sandy ground and encircled them. Van noticed a gleaming metal is tugging along iron Kong, and he noticed it was Zeke.  
  
"Zeke! Buddy!"  
  
The metal organoid have its doubt running to him, and like a jealous child- it let out a small furious roar and stayed firmly beside the saber fang. 'Must have been Raven. I will get him to understand later.'  
  
Some of the pilots dismount from their red horns to see if the lieutenant is okay, and they greeted Flyheight, relieved to see him okay. Then figure from the saber fang finally emerged from the cock pit, and came down the steps. "Colonel Schubaltz, sir!" Van saluted, and then rushed into him.  
  
Raven went still as stone. His angry gaze met Karl's. Slowly he strode beside Van until he himself is facing the Imperial Army Colonel. The tension grew thick and hung like a fog in the air. Slowly, the other voices tapered off.  
  
"Col. Karl Schubaltz." Raven snapped,  
  
Karl's sharp green gaze didn't signal any cordial greeting for Van nor was it any good news for Raven. What he said that moment will be an eventual shock to everyone else with them right now.  
  
"I have my duty to arrest both of you, and I mean, that includes you, Van Flyheight."  
  
There was a moment of puzzled silence as Van looked to the ashen blonde colonel. His face fell and Raven could see his reaction, "Van has nothing to do with this." Raven said icily. "It's me that you want."  
  
Karl ignored him, "How long have you been with him?"  
  
"Just a week! B-but Colonel---"  
  
"You resist the rescue team effort of your fellow GF team members, if what Lt. Schubaltz and Irvine said is true. Am I correct?"  
  
Van felt a heated rush crawling to his face, is Karl accusing him of something? "Y-yes, sir."  
  
"And all these time, you prefer to be with this mercenary?" He continued coldly, never removing his angry green gaze to what he is suspecting all along, "Do you know the penalty for fraternizing with the enemy and collaboration, Lieutenant Flyheight?"  
  
"NO!" he answered defiantly, "It is not what you think it is! I'm not betraying anybody!"  
  
"Arrest them."  
  
"How could you?" Van cried, "How could you do this, Col. Schubaltz? Why don't you try listening to my side of the story?!"  
  
"I had no choice, Flyheight. It was for your own good."  
  
Raven had it, anger coursed into his veins---this damn Schubaltzes. Both Thomas and Karl, they just can't keep their heads out of other's business. He won't have it their way; no way are they going to take Van into prison--- even if they'll be together in it. He didn't belong there; he only got involved with him by accident. There is all to it.  
  
Involved. Deeply and personally involved.  
  
Thomas was right, he is relishing the thought of getting involved with Van Flygheight in every minute they spent. Raven never told the other boy about it, for the fear he might misunderstood what it meant. But he can't help it- --not right now.  
  
He saw the group of imperial soldiers reluctantly forwarding to Van, "Stop!"  
  
The soldiers froze; Raven is glaring to them like daggers in their throats. "Go any inch near him, and everyone will answer to me!"  
  
/He is protecting Flyheight---the nerve, /  
  
"You have the right to remain silent, Raven!" The colonel snapped, "If you and Flyheight do anything---"  
  
Raven cut in abruptly with a sardonic laugh, "Ha!" and he gazed at Karl insolently, "Thomas is right; you don't want me to have him----old man!"  
  
The imperial army colonel have it with Raven's arrogance and insult, and it was one of those scary moments is when he snaps---on which it RARELY happens for no one sees him do it before. He cursed and charged and then his fist hit Raven square in the chin and flattened him to the ground. "Van Flyheight is ours!"  
  
"Fuckin' bloody hell, he is!" Raven roared up and tackled the bigger and much muscular Karl. They rolled in the dirt, punching and shouting, calling each other names that the other soldiers around them swore they could have never heard or seen from their stoic imperial army officer. Karl jumped to his feet and so did Raven. "Thomas has sent me everything you told him, you want to get involved with Flyheight so you can just access information and get anything you want! Don't you think WE don't know what you are thinking?"  
  
Van gasped, Raven stared at him wordlessly, /No-----/  
  
"YOU sent those damn red horns!" he gritted, returning Karl a darker glare.  
  
The colonel wiped his mouth, "They have instructions to capture both you two but not to kill you."  
  
Van winced, his expression ranged from hurting and confused. /WHAT the hell are those two talking about? / He felt a nudge on his shoulder, and he realized Zeke is there.  
  
"Zeke---" he mumbled, "Help me put an end to this, buddy---"  
  
He watched Raven see red and flew at Karl, and they tumbled again, each trying to get each other. Karl straddled Raven and had his hands upon his throat while he shouted.  
  
"Stop!!!!" Van shouted, "Stop it both of you!"  
  
The next thing they knew, a long metallic tail swerved at their heads. Zeke knocked Karl off from Raven and the silver organoid swerved again with a metallic roar, hitting the gray-haired pilot this time on the head. The colonel released his grasp at the other boy and coughed, rolling away to the ground, while Raven shook his own head to feel if it's intact and stared at Van.  
  
Zeke ran back beside Van with an angry hissing sound, and the brunette glared at both of them.  
  
"Colonel Schubaltz, no way I'm going to let YOU take me."  
  
Raven grinned.  
  
"And you can wipe that foolish smile off your mouth, RAVEN, because I'm not yours either!" His fists are tightly clenched and he was gritting his words as he speaks, while his deep-onyx colored eyes are so filled with disappointment and rage. They seem to penetrate like a swerving knife to their hearts. "I'm not some fuckin' zoid eve for you foolish men to wage war over! I don't belong to either of you!! Do you hear me?"  
  
Both men stared at him in dumbfounded silence.  
  
Van continued however, "---and you can cease your fighting because neither of you will win. I'm not going to anyone of you! Neither of you!! And Colonel, you don't have to arrest me---I'm going to leave the military and the guardian force myself!" And with that pronouncement he turned around furiously and ran inside the military base, with Zeke in tow following him.  
  
Raven watched as the figure ran away until it faded into a distance, watched by the aghast audience of soldiers. And he never felt alone at that moment than he had ever in his hard solitary life. He felt words slip from his mouth unconsciously,  
  
"I didn't mean to say it--- I thought---I'm trying to protect you."  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek.  
  
/Idiot---I told him I won't cry. /  
  
-continued- 


	11. let the past flow down stream

Last chapter: Let the past flow away downstream (the story's title)  
  
Note: Yay! Last chapter. There is a lot of stuff going around here. A drunken colonel for example and a lot of Van x Raven sentimental mush-mush. Pls. allow the Law of Suspension of Disbelief. Liquor could do anything. YAY!!! I done it!! I've finished this ficcie after nearly two-brain dead months!! *cough cough* Now to move on to the next levah!  
  
~Ravenous  
  
*****  
  
"Do you really think he has truly had given up to work in the GF for good?" Raven looked down at his mug as Karl poured half of the bottle's content in it.  
  
Raven is inside the Imperial Army Colonel's headquarters. Although it was Karl's intention to drag the brat into the interrogation room, he thought it would make the scenario much worse than it is now. His brother, Thomas has another bound gauze on his head, always getting his head injuries from every skimirish with his DiBison. This is the second time around Raven injured him, and he will be raring to argue with him---especially now there is also Irvine along with him, who wants to demand an explanation WHY Flyheight won't come out of his room for an explanation. All of them want answers.  
  
He intended to talk one on one with the person known to have hard mercenary edges, well, ONCE have hard mercenary edges. Karl shivered as he recalled seeing Raven cry when Van left after the heated fight. When he demanded his presence at his quarters, the boy foolishly followed like a meek lamb---and THAT really freaked him. He even sat there still like a vegetable, and his pale face almost next to being sorry as Karl grilled him with questions. The answers are strange and odd, and he nearly fell off his chair when Raven confessed that he and Van were lovers. Not knowing how to react on the situation, he resorted to an oddment which he knew could bring out the truth from the boy and the same time drown both their disappointments and miseries.  
  
"That's what Thomas said." Colonel Karl Lichen Schubaltz raised his fifth tankard of beer and leveled a stare at Raven. He drank deeply, and then said, "I don't understand why Flyheight has to be so angry. I'm doing it for his own good. He knows it's hard to find reliable people in the force these days."  
  
Raven frowned into his mug. "Fratenizing with the enemy. Accusing him right in front of every one else to see, suspecting 'collaboration' and arresting him suddenly without a valid reason---of course he will quit." He was quiet, thinking all he had done wrong, and how he could fare better expressing his feelings towards Van without having to tender it with his prick. In a weak moment he began to think about the stars and began to sing an angsty song called 'Bring me back to Life'  
  
The colonel dropped his beer and slammed his hands all over his ears. "Cease, you damn brat! Bloodying my nose was enough torture for one day!"  
  
"Can't sing," Raven declared.  
  
The colonel shook his head, and then pounded the heel of his hand against an ear.  
  
"I should have written him poetry." Raven murmured.  
  
Karl was concentrating on pouring another round and spoke as if Raven hadn't. "I only want the best for Flyheight. He makes an excellent and responsible member for the GF team, and I least expected him to have such undesirable 'involvement' with an enemy. Couldn't you see his better off if you leave him alone?"  
  
"Well, what if it's our destiny to meet? No one can avoid that. And for a point, I don't kill women and children, and he bloody knows that my feet aren't cloven."  
  
The colonel's intense green eyes narrowed. "Where did you hear that?"  
  
"Don't ask, Schubaltz. You would just try to choke the breath from my lungs again, and I'd have to break your arm this time. God only knows how he would react to that."  
  
"You're right." Karl gently touched his swollen eye and winced. "Never has been in my whole life have I seen Van Flyheight so angry with me."  
  
"Yeah. He has the patience of a saint."  
  
Karl scowled and tipped his tankard for a large drink, and then he said, "He must have a wealth of patience. He spent a week with you."  
  
"I'm an ass." Raven admitted,  
  
"Yes, that you are," Karl agreed. "But a very damned painful and twistedly determined ass to that. I had to hire four of my men in their red horns to take you down. They refused to take you down on a second time."  
  
"Me or Zeke?"  
  
Karl shuddered. "Don't remind me of that organoid, it keeps on hitting with my brother at least once a day." (courtesy of episode: emperor's holiday :P)  
  
Both men exchanged identical looks, and then the colonel laughed. "If it weren't for Flyheight, Raven, I might shoot my head just to call you 'buddy'."  
  
Raven rubbed his bruised chin and wince, "Yeah, you're quick old man."  
  
"Who's old?! I'm only 27!" Karl frowned and puffed out his chest, "I'm as strong as I was four years ago at the defeat of the deathsaurer! I graduated at the top of my class in top military honors! I'm only 23 when I became a Major and command fights in the battlefield! Now I'm holding the 1st Panzer division, and before the fall of my zoid in New Helix I---" he raised his fingers and tried to snap them. He couldn't do it. Frowning, Karl took another drink, and then belched. He tapped his chest with his fist. "That's better, now where was I?"  
  
"---the fall of your zoid in New Helix?" Raven supplied gloomily.  
  
"Yes! I can knock a pilot even how advanced his zoid weaponry are from his unit! I can pleasure a lady, two in fact, and I can down a hogshead and a bottle of whiskey and still walk a straight line!" He raised his mug high.  
  
Karl's eyes rolled back and he passed out face down on the table.  
  
Raven stared. Karl was snoring. He picked up his tankard, and then the colonel's and dumped the contents to his. "No sense wasting good liquor," he muttered, then stood and stumbled out of the hall.  
  
He walked down the passages of the military base like a maze, opening a door after another room to room and another hall way. Ten minutes later he found the room he sought. It took him five minutes to light up the room, and then slumped into a small rigid metal chair that squeaked under his weight and rested his elbows on a desk. He searched the top, and then opened a carved wooden box.  
  
"Aha! I knew this would be in here." He grinned, and then took out a piece of thin parchment, a filling pen and a precious pot of ink.  
  
Raven stared at the blank parchment, took a deep breath, and then picked up the pen. He snapped the top off the ink pot, squinted one indigo eye, and tried to fill in the empty pen as he bring the pot nearer to its small hole.  
  
Seven tries and much concentration later, he hit his target. And with his next breath he began to write.  
  
*****  
  
Van Flyheight lay in his bed beneath some blankets and stared at the dark ceiling. His room is high, atop the 2nd floor of the officer's headquarters, isolated to the farthest right. A place for thought. A place for him to curse his foolish heart out.  
  
He missed drifting all of a sudden, recalling how he missed the stars- --he missed the fresh night air. He sorely missed Raven lying next to him all the time---  
  
If only the bastard didn't backstabbed him. Enemy is always an enemy, there is nothing he could do about that. Not unless he had to prove it---prove he is sorry. If he will prove it, how?  
  
A loud crash followed by a couple of 'oof' sounds accompanied more by thuds sounded from outside. He sat upright and listened sharply. There was nothing, only quiet. The sound had awakened Zeke whose head was perked expectantly.  
  
'Must have been my imagination---' he thought. "Go back to sleep, Zeke.'  
  
"Mrnrrfff!" he purred.  
  
He lay down again and snuggled deeper under the covers of his bed with Zeke beside him, who is by the floor. A moment later a pebble bounced across his opened window. Zeke leapt up and made an sharp grunt, looking around in full-alert and then chased the pebble across the room.  
  
Very slowly, Van swung out the bed and, back pressed to the solid wall, slipped through the window and stopped. A handful of pebbles flew through the opening.  
  
"Pssstt!" More pebbles pattered the cemented floor.  
  
He stuck his head out of the window, "Raven?" he whispered.  
  
He stood in the empty military yard below with a lamp held high in one hand, Shadow his dark organoid is with him, and with the looks of it, they had knocked down a couple of watch guards.  
  
"What are you doing? How did you get out of your de--"  
  
"Shhhh!!!" he raised a finger to his mouth. "Can you hear me?"  
  
"Of course I can hear you! You're shouting!"  
  
"Good." He stood a little straighter, and then weaved slightly.  
  
"You're drunk, Raven."  
  
"Nothing that I can handle, it's just a bottle or two." He stumbled slightly, and then held a piece of parchment up near the lamp. Too near. A corner of the parchment suddenly flamed. With a curse, he dropped the paper and stomped out the flame, then shoved the lamp to shadow's grip, and bent down and picked up the parchment. He squinted at it, and then puffed out his chest. He nudged shadow to hold the lamp high, as he stretched the parchment out and shouted, "Ode to this coincidental opposition!" (For hint: check out title in 1st part -author)  
  
"What?!" Van braced his hands on the window ledge. Zeke joined him and peered down as he leaned outside.  
  
"Oh, Van Flyheight, thoughtful and fair----" Raven flung his arm out wide and nearly knocked the lamp in Shadow's grip, the organoid grumbling annoyingly. "---which the sunset made shine of his deep ebony hair."  
  
'He is spouting poetry', he realized. Sunset made shine of his deep ebony hair---'it's so lovely when he said that.'  
  
"Your eyes with its deep onyx gaze--- gracefully set against on your wonderfully tanned face."  
  
He felt his face flush, and a smile crept to his lips.  
  
"Mrvmf?"  
  
"Shut up Zeke, he is reading me poetry."  
  
The silver organoid sweat dropped.  
  
"And to see you blush red, how I want to bed---" Raven paused, "---you. Don't bid me adieu."  
  
Van frowned.  
  
"I dream of you dressed like that as a soldier," he bellowed, referring to Van's red and gray lieutenant outfit. "---instead of my own Genobreaker!"  
  
Van leaned back against the solid wall, his hands to his stomach, trying to contain an urge to laugh.  
  
"Your manhood as pink as a pig----"  
  
His mouth dropped open, his manhood as pink as a 'PIG?'  
  
"And the wet sex that flows taste like honey figs."  
  
Van clapped a hand over his mouth and chuckled, his face flushing bright red. Damn! Raven is making the whole world know what they did!  
  
"And as sure as I can fart, you will always have my heart!" Raven finished proudly.  
  
By then Van is sitting down the floor, holding his sides and laughing so hard that tears streamed down his eyes. He wiped then, still chuckling as his mind's eye still saw Raven standing in the military yard, where anyone could and probably had seen him, spouting the worse poetry he'd ever heard so loudly that he could have been heard in whole Zi.  
  
It had grown strangely quiet outside. Van let go of his sides and got up. He looked out the window. The yard was empty.  
  
"Raven?"  
  
He heard a soft grunt. Van gripped the ledge and leaned farther out the window. Raven struggled half-way up with the half-rusty ladder found about in the base's storage area. He had a long red rose clenched in his teeth.  
  
"Raven, be careful! The ladder doesn't look very---"  
  
A loud scratching crack pierced in the air. The ladder wobbled for an instant, and then slowly fell backward. There was a shout of surprise, and the ladder hit the ground with a thud, sending other goods falling and tumbling down the ground. The goods rustled and Zeke crawled out of the window and jumped through the other packed up boxes by the wall, grunting and sniffing him out.  
  
There was a moan. Raven cursed. Van blanched. In minutes, the people hearing the commotion near Flyheight's headquarters quickly lighted up the whole base and sounded the alarm. There were soldiers every where and they surrounded the whole area, very perplexed and finding things odd--- to see the dazed gray-haired youth with his black organoid carrying a rose in his mouth and Van Flyheight hurriedly climbing outside, panicking. All the while, the rest of the gang still sleeps soundly, and the Imperial Army Colonel still snored.  
  
*****  
  
Raven's stitches have been neatly placed the next day in the infirmary section, amid the reluctant people in the base that took him in. Hadn't it been for Van's persistence, the gray-haired pilot might never have taken the treatment. Van was in the infirmary room all the time, looking about worriedly and never left his side, crying his eyes out that he killed him. Outside the room, the colonel walked to and fro guiltily, Irvine reading a magazine, and Thomas cursing about silently. The lieutenant can't do anything to console Miss Fiona, who seems sickly worried of Van's actions as she sat beside Moonbay outside with the group by the waiting area. He finds nothing to fault but the commanding higher officer in charge, his brother.  
  
"Colonel---no, I mean Karl! Why did you let Raven escape! He could have killed Flyheight last night!" He whined, not necessarily concerned about Van, but because Miss Fiona is direly worried lately of the younger boy's actions. It seemed he have 'more' than sympathy with Raven.  
  
"He didn't attempt to kill Flyheight." The colonel muttered, giving his brother an embarrassed but commanding glare. "He said---" pausing for awhile, Karl was sure he was still sober when he talked to Raven after a couple of drinks. "He said he is going to read him poetry."  
  
"POETRY?!"  
  
Everyone gaped at the ashen blonde colonel, who seems to be irritated with the surprised glances. After all, Raven is the last person in the whole Zi who would consider writing and reading a poem. He is pretty curious himself, "Yes, he told me 'I should have written him poetry.'"  
  
"Goodness, Karl! You might have been drunk---"  
  
He whipped a glance to Thomas that stopped the latter from continuing. "I'm not YET drunk when I heard him say it. I'm trying to cover my ears from hearing him sing 'Fly me to the moon'. Definitely, I'm very sober."  
  
"Raven SINGS?"  
  
The colonel just shrugged. Maybe the liquor had brought about a side of Raven that others haven't seen before. To be honest, Karl himself is the only person to know the 'secret' between the two rivals---he considered himself lucky that Raven hadn't told anyone so far about his ramblings before he passed out. 'I can pleasure a lady, two even!' he recalled saying, and a couple of more embarrassing words that he swore he can't imagine even telling his younger brother. 'Goodness, what will happen if THEY find out?'  
  
"YES, he sings---well, he is drunk so probably that's why he sang." He muttered irritatedly, hoping not to press the conversation much longer. He got other duties to attend, but he can't leave since he is the one in charge in Raven's capture.  
  
"I wonder what it means when someone gives a red rose?" Fiona whispered, that catches the attention all of them. Her question is off the topic, but it saves Karl's skin from anymore pesky questions coming from Thomas.  
  
"Why, Miss Fiona!" Thomas attention zoomed to 100 percent at the blonde zoidian. "Giving a red rose is also as same as proposing one's love---" He said, almost blushing. "---it's a symbol of romantic affection."  
  
Her cherry red eyes widened in an unnatural and worried degree. "Is that why Raven was seen with a red rose in his mouth outside Van's headquarters?"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
Irvine fell from the place he was sitting, and the rest exchange shocked glances, all except the Imperial Army colonel.  
  
"How come you are not surprised?!"  
  
"I didn't see it coming." Karl muttered, tilting his cap to his eyes. "Besides, it's a crazy idea." He said, blocking the infirmary room's window. Fiona's face slowly crumbled and looks really worried right now, to which the lieutenant can no longer bear, Karl is trying to hide something.  
  
He said Raven wants to read Van a poetry, then he sings his heart out with 'Fly me to the moon', then Fiona points out that the gray-haired youth was found tumbled down in an attempt to climb in Van's room-with a red rose in the mouth. A little all too suspicious  
  
"Why don't you let me inside? I want to see it for myself!"  
  
Karl stood stiffly in front of the room. His eyes commanding, his arms crossed to his chest. Obviously irritated with his brother's lack of ethics.  
  
"I ask your permission, Colonel, sir!"  
  
Karl still didn't budge.  
  
"I demand to see what is really going on!!" he stubbornly pressed, but Karl pressed two arms firmly in front of him. "You are not to disobey my order, Thomas. There is nothing in here you want to see."  
  
Probably because of Fiona's distraught appearance, Thomas must have drawn a lot of superhuman strength and threw his weight against his much bigger brother, forcing the door to open. Surprisingly, it was unlocked, and Thomas came crashing in through the infirmary room.  
  
The others came streaming inside the room, only to find the biggest shock of their lives. Raven and Van were atop of each other in the infirmary bed in a scandalous position. Raven was underneath, his head bounded by thick gauze, and the brunette is kneeling in front of him, whose pants are almost undone and the other pilot's pale hands clutching the cheeks of his rear. Thomas sudden 'intermission' jolted them both, that Raven caught a part of his gauze between Van's trouser zipper, causing his head to be stuck just between there.  
  
Van's onyx gaze widened in surprise, bringing about a sudden flood of embarrassment in his cheeks. "G-Guys!" he gasped, trying to jump off the bed. He felt a tight snitch, and a mild curse coming from Raven.  
  
"Van! My stupid gauze is stuck in your pants!"  
  
"Pull it!"  
  
"Easy for you to say,"  
  
"V-Vaa---You---having-s-s-with HIM?!" Thomas loosed all his color and nearly went mental at the sight of them. Fiona let out a mild shriek and fainted, falling to Thomas arms. Moonbay covered her mouth to prevent a shout from coming out, and Irvine dropped his jaw. It was Karl, who still remained as cool as a cucumber who is the first one to break the ice.  
  
"Don't tell me I didn't warn you people," he said tersely. Then tossing a pocket knife to Van, "Here," he said, as he starts to turn pink. "Cut that gauze off your----it's embarrassing for everyone to see." Then he glanced at the fainted Zoidian, "---and it seems will be needing an extra bed too."  
  
"You KNEW all the time?" Moonbay finally spoke, looking at the colonel furiously. "Why didn't you say so?"  
  
"I didn't know how you people would react."  
  
"React?! REACT, we are emotionally scarred now, thank you very much!" Thomas snapped, holding the fainted zodian in his arms. Karl had already mastered selective hearing from Thomas and ignored his brother's complains. What he worries now, is how Van would make everyone understand on what they have 'seen.'  
  
"Umm, Van when you learned that you're ah - umm, you know--" "Well, I think it's after 'victory' the party." The boy finally replied, then glancing up to the speechless Irvine. "Right, 'sugar bear'?"  
  
Raven chuckled, as he pulled the loose gauze off. 'Sugar bear' is a cute nick name after all.  
  
"H-Hey!" Irvine retorted, noticing the angry glances glowering from everybody. "It is a joke! Everyone knows it! You are joking right? I mean you and Raven? Come o--"  
  
"It's your entire fault IRVINE!!" everyone shouted angrily.  
  
*****  
  
Later that night,  
  
"You are alone."  
  
"I'm used to it," Raven said softly, his indigo orbs drifting to the night sky. Stars-he is always fascinated with them, it brings back the much peaceful memoirs of his then uncorrupted past. "So how was Shadow?"  
  
"He's fine, Zeke just get quite jealous when he's around." Van replied lazily, leaning over the railings, joining the gray-haired pilot outside the hangar. "So how's your head? The stitches I mean."  
  
"Never been better," he made a serious disposition, then looking at his tanned face. "It just needed a little kiss to get the boo boo away."  
  
Van blanched then flushed, and seeing that reaction, Raven let out a roar of laughter. He caught him there.  
  
"It's your fault Raven! Now I can't face my buddies for a month!" he muttered, his cheeks burning hot with embarrassment. Raven said the same thing when he woke up into the infirmary room; Van gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, and that kiss lead from one thing to another, fighting dominance who will straddle to the top.  
  
"So was Irvine," Raven replied, "-guess it was him to blame for all this that happened, eh?"  
  
"Nah," the smaller boy replied, then silently, leaned his head lazily to Raven's shoulder. "I think it's even a little before that I guess, but he apologized anyway after I explained him my story." Then they lay silent for awhile.  
  
In a few minutes they began to talk again, like old friends would. Van mumbled something about the gang being disappointed but not upset, that Fiona is sad but same time happy just to see Van is satisfied with his decision, and Raven remarked how Irvine and Thomas made awkward glances--- amused especially when Thomas screamed like a girl when he appeared from behind, shouting 'Don't try to grab my ass, you dickhead!'.  
  
"Can't fault him with that," Van sighed, "But I think deep within his heart he is happy, he stands a chance with Fiona now."  
  
Raven rolled up his eyes, "Yeah, that is---without stammering at first."  
  
They idly glanced again outside the hangar, the decision Raven made, to surrender himself willingly, have granted quite a celebration for almost everyone in that base, and probably everyone in Zi. So happy in fact, that they are setting off fire works. This someone had triggered an effect on Raven's injured head  
  
"I remembered who I am, just about now!" Raven gasped, the impact of the bursting firecracker gave him a sudden memory rush. "My name is M---"  
  
Then came ANOTHER sudden burst of a fire cracker  
  
"Uhhh---now, I forgot!" he scratched his head, "hrrr---"  
  
"Dr. Dee says there is a possibility of you having selective memory loss," Van said, seemingly amused by Raven's confused reaction. He starts to chat incessantly, "Literally, it would take more than such fall again if you want to retrieve the rest of your memory. I think shock therapy would help, it's only a bit painful though, and they used it for amnesiac psychos---"  
  
Raven took advantage of the open mouth and kissed Van so deeply, that the other boy gasped and was almost rendered breathless from it. "I had to admit then, I am a psycho." He whispered against his soft mouth, and the two both softly chuckled as the festive air.  
  
They watched the fireworks for awhile; Raven then lightly nudged Van by the shoulder. "I want to show you something---" he whispered to his delicate ear, and then lightly tugging the youth behind him, they climbed by the roof top. Once reaching there, they leaned down and glanced at the night sky, there were fewer fireworks, but at that portion you can see the stars. "I remember how long before, I would go and gaze above the stars. My father will talk to me that we came from a blue planet from not so far away from the Milky Way. I like that story, since it's the last loving memory from him and my mother."  
  
"-and you told your father how much you hate Zoids, Raven."  
  
His indigo eyes drifted to the stars above, as was his thoughts. "Yeah, I sure do."  
  
"So if you really hate zoids so much, how come you still pilot them till now?"  
  
Raven blinked, come to think of it, the other youth has a point.  
  
"Psyche!" Van laughed, and mock punched Raven on the shoulder. The gray- haired pilot frowned, but his irritation quickly evaporated upon seeing the genuine happy smile on Van's face. "I don't know either!" he softly chuckled, but he was partially serious, "I think it's just wanting to get even I guess."  
  
The brunette snuggled closer to him, his dark onyx gaze leveled up to meet his far-away watching indigo eyes. "Nothing you do Raven would bring them back you know. Just honor them that they may find peace, they do something that they don't regret and they die doing it. Do you think if they are alive right now that they will be happy just seeing you destroy military bases and take so many lives?"  
  
Van took a deep breath, waiting for Raven's reaction. The taller boy has faced him as he talked, and as usual, his expression is in control and thus unreadable. He hates it when he stares at him like that, so he continued. "Raven, I know also what is like to lose a father. God, he died in the battlefield in trying to save your life! But I didn't resent him for doing it---"  
  
He was surprised when Raven reached out a palm to stroke his cheek, he was almost smiling. "Hush, you don't have to explain everything." He whispered, brushing a finger to his lower lip, that the boy felt a strange sensual shudder that weakened his knees. "I have one thing to say, the same words I told to Col. Schubaltz."  
  
He likened the pale palm caressing his cheek, so he snuggled closer, "Yeah?"  
  
"I'm an ass."  
  
Van lifted a slender eyebrow, but an amused glint was evident in those dark depths. "Why so? I know you are a pain in the neck-but,"  
  
"Listen, Van." Raven admonished gently, "I'm an ass. I finally realized now, that how glad I feel when I say it-because it is the truth. All my life I'm blinded by my own fury, my own hate. I have become nothing but a mercenary who followed orders, and yet knew nothing much in life---so much I don't know that in the end, I didn't know what's the reason why I keep on fighting. I don't have much to believe in."  
  
"Raven---"  
  
"All I know, is I have to keep on confronting you. Facing you in battle, seem the biggest fulfillment in me. Of course, bloody hell I always want to win. But I realized it has something in you that's why I wanted to keep on seeing you again."  
  
"Oh, Raven. That's the sweetest thing I ever heard from you." Van cooed, as if trying to get the other pilot in a lighter mood. There are times Raven have been so deep in confessing his feelings, but it was never been like this. "You mean, you already have a crush on me even before? Why didn't you say so?"  
  
Raven gave him a look then whumped him lightly at the head, "Because I was so confused about my feelings for you before, you moron! Its all your fault, you get into my head so much-it intoxicates me!" The brunette stopped, then blushed, inched away and sat up, not knowing what to say. He didn't want to let Raven see he is blushing. 'He seriously said he had feelings for me even before?'  
  
Raven sat up with him, and sighed. "Alright, I admit to that. I think I was drawn to you because you have something that I hoped I had. I want a life Van, you had your friends who care for you, and I have none. You had something to believe in, and I don't. It's like I have won the battle but lost the war." He looked at him, his gaze filled with nothing he sees before. As if it was looking through the eyes of a lost, and hurt little child.  
  
"That's why I need you, Van." He said, as if he was sorry for all the bad things he did, then pressed his lips to his, a soft pleading one, as if searching for some warm longing and comfort in him. Van responded, and parted his own mouth welcoming the wet heat then holds Raven close. They kissed briefly for a few minutes, when another firecracker burst loudly-almost dangerously near to their direction. With that, they were both jolted back to reality, pulling off each other's grip. "Ah fuck! Can't the fools have some sense and play around elsewhere?" Raven snapped, his old persona seemingly to itself.  
  
Van grinned, "So does your memory came back now? Or do they have to fire another one again?"  
  
Raven looked back at him, then with a shrug. "I will lose more of it anyway if they did."  
  
"Hmmm, Raven?" he glanced up from his shoulder, "I wonder, will you ever remember?"  
  
"I guess so, someday--" he paused, "Maybe not now, or maybe sooner or later. We don't know. But I know you can help me along the way to heal myself, maybe then-it would return." He glanced at Van, inched closer to him and lightly kissed him to the nose, "You are going to show me what it's like to really live, sugar bear."  
  
Van pouted, "Stop calling me sugar bear! It makes me sound like some damn sweet pastry." And Raven laughed, and Van followed good-naturedly.  
  
"You know what I thought of now? There are things much important in the world that I want to make up to you." Raven smiled, "You know what it is?"  
  
"Just let the past flow away down stream."  
  
"Besides that," he grinned, a small wicked one. His figure leaning over closer to Van's. Too close, that with just a tap, Van will fall down and he'll land atop of him. He kissed him daintily by the skin of his neck, "I always want to see you moan on a heightened orgasm while looking at the starry sky as I make love with you underneath the noisy fireworks."  
  
"You ARE an ass." Van said, but he was smiling ear to ear. And with the care free attitude, they both chuckled and held each other close, abandoning the world.  
~END~  
  
- wahh!! *Brings out boxes of tissue and blows* I think I just did it! Too much cootie sweet mushiness! *scratches cooties away* I hoped you liked it! Please review! Hopefully not yet the last--- *drags her ass to 'the mercenary who loved' and 'tourniquet'* 


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